Hawaiian Havoc!
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 20 up! Complete! The Misfits join the X-Men on a trip to Hawaii! Rewiew all the insanity! R&R Please! Suggestions needed badly!
1. Cruise Control, Part 1!

Hawaiian Havoc!

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel Comics and Sunbow Entertainment except for any characters I create.**

**Author's Note: Hello, Misfit Fans! L1701E here! I thought since the West Coast Misfits were enjoying the summer, I thought it'd be appropriate for the original gang, the East Coast Guys, to have their own summer fic! So enjoy the insanity!**

It's Profile Time Again! Crowd hoots, hollers, claps, chants, screams, and yells This time, we take a quick look at the leader of the New Mutants, Cannonball!

Cannonball

Real Name: Samuel Zachary Guthrie

Class: Mutant

Affiliation: New Mutants (leader)

Birthplace: Kentucky

Powers: Cannonball has the power to generate a thermo-nuclear reaction under his feet that causes him to fly through the air like a rocket. He also generates a "blast field" that makes him practically invulnerable in flight.

Bio: Cannonball is the eldest child in a huge family from Kentucky. His mutant powers manifested when he tried to rescue a bunch of his fellow mine workers from a cave-in.   

Not much is known about the events leading up to his becoming a New Mutant, but he eventually became leader of the New Mutants. He also became the object of affection for the mutant teleporter Lila Cheney who became a member of the East Coast Misfit team.

Recently, Cannonball's younger sister Paige joined the X-Men as Husk for her power to turn her skin into any material. Paige fell under the Starr charms, developing a crush on the feral rock musician/West Coast Misfit Ace Starr, codename Wildstar.

Chapter 1: Cruise Control, Part 1!

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(A cruise ship)

"Ahhhh…" Scott Summers sighed happily, a smile crossed his face. He was sitting across from Jean Grey in the dining room of a fancy cruise ship. "This is great, Jean. You and me, and no Misfits."

"Yeah." Jean smiled happily. Suddenly, the two noticed a horde of screaming girls run by. "What?"

"Oh don't let it be…" Scott turned around. "Oh no." The screaming girls gathered around a table. When the two could see the occupants, Scott banged his head against the table. Sitting there were Lance Alvers, Paul Starr, Craig Starr, and St. John Allerdyce, four of the East Coast Misfits codenamed Avalanche, Starchild, Darkstar, and Pyro, and also four of the five members of the all-mutant glam-metal band the Superstars. Jean's eyes lit up at the sight Starchild, the Superstars' lead singer and one of their guitarists. The four rockers were signing autographs for fans. Even Craig was getting into the act.

"_BABY!!!!!!_" Jean squealed. "Oh, I gotta get my autograph book!" Jean ran to her cabin.

"She sees Paul every day! Why would OH FORGET IT!!! **I!! HATE!! THAT!!! STARCHILD!!!"** Scott yelled as he banged his head on the table. The four Misfits saw him!

"Hey Scott!" Paul waved with a smile. "Fancy meeting you here!" He laughed, impersonating legendary comedian Groucho Marx.

"What's the matter, _Sumner?_ Girl Trouble?" Lance laughed. He and Craig high-fived. John cackled. The Superstars' insane Aussie drummer ran up to Scott, sat in Jean's seat, and put his face _very_ close to Scott's, wearing his maniacal grin.

"I set your cabin on fire." He whispered like a crazy man. Scott blinked.

"I hate you. Get away from me, you psycho dolt." He turned to Lance. "Hey Alvers, where's the other member of your stupid band?"

"Lila's around." Craig shrugged. He heard a Kentucky-accented scream. "Oh, here she comes." Sam ran through the room, causing some people to scream.

"Get away from me, you crazy coon!" Sam Guthrie, clad in a pair of blue-and-black baggy swim trunks, screamed. A laughing and squealing Lila Cheney chased after him, clad in a black bikini.

"Come to mama, baby! C'mere and gimme some lovin', you Kentucky cutie!" Lila squealed and laughed as she chased Sam.

"Oh God." Scott moaned. "I'm being punished, aren't I?"

"Yes." Pietro said with a grin. "And I shall continue until you remove that stick from your butt."

"You're not God, Pietro." Lance groaned.

"Are you sure?" Pietro wiggled his eyebrows.

"No, you are Pietro Maximoff, a Misfit. You're an egomaniac…" Lance explained.

"Craig, I am straight!" Pietro snapped at Darkstar. "I have a girlfriend, you know."

"_BABY!!!!!!_" A British-accented voice squealed, and Betsy tackled Pietro.

"Paul's not the only one who can get chicks." Pietro grinned. Paul chuckled.

"Yeah." Paul beamed. Pietro groaned. How the heck can he make the Starchild jealous when the oblivious LA native tends to take some insults as compliments.

"What are you morons doing here?" Scott snarled. He and the other X-Men were enjoying a nice cruise and the Misfits show up. Perfect.

"We're on a mission." Lance smirked.

"What, Operation Drive Me Nuts?" Scott asked. "Because you clowns accomplished it!"

"No, moron! In case you haven't heard, there's a famous bachelor on this ship. There's a possibility Cobra may be after him because he's very rich."

"And he's got a sweet car." Pyro grinned. "I set it on fire."

"He likes fire." Craig shrugged. "I'm gonna go up to the deck before I get seasick." Craig grumbled as he got up.

_Give Wanda a big kiss._ Paul teased telepathically.

_Oh shut up, Starchild._ Craig grumbled back.

"Hey Scotty, where's Amara?" Paul wondered.

"She's not feeling good. She gets sick when away from land for too long. She's resting until we get to Hawaii. Don't disturb her Starchild." Scott warned.

"Oh my." Paul blinked. "I'd better check on her. I got something that might make her feel a little better." Paul ran off.

"I hope she roasts him." Scott grumbled. "AAAAGH!!! ALLERDYCE!!!" Scott screamed, patting his flaming butt.

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(Somewhere else on the boat)

Paul knocked on Amara's cabin door, carrying an object.

"Hello? Amara? May I come in?" Paul asked.

"Come in." A weak voice replied. Paul smiled and walked in quietly. Amara laid in her bed, a little weak. "Hi Paul."

"Hey." Starchild smiled. "I heard you don't like water."

"I get weak when off land for too long." Amara replied. "Part of my powers, you know."

"Maybe this will help." Paul said, revealing his object. It was a flowerpot full of soil. Amara blinked in confusion. "I figured since your powers connected you to the earth, maybe if I brought some, it'd help you feel a little better." Paul gently put Amara's hand on the soil. Amara seemed to brighten a little bit.

"Wow. I do feel a little better now. Thank you Paul. You're a sweetheart." She gave Paul a little kiss on the cheek.

"I'll leave you to rest now." The heart-stealing rocker bowed and got ready to leave.

"Could you get me some ice cream, Paul? Please?" The Nova Roman princess asked cutely. Paul laughed.

"Okay, princess." Starchild grinned. "I'll see what they got." Starchild left the royal to rest. "Hope they got chocolate."

Well, a new adventure has just begun? Who is this rich dude the Misfits have to protect and why? Will Lila catch Sam? What else will Pyro? Will Craig beat anyone up? Who else showed up? Will I stop asking these stupid questions? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	2. Cruise Control, Part 2!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

**Disclaimer: In case I forgot, All Characters belong to Marvel excpet those I created!**

To Sparky Genocide: Glad you liked the Scott Torture and I hope to put in more soon. This is inspired but not quite. That would be a funny idea to see.

To RogueFanKC: Yeah, I'm starting to get that sinking feeling myself. HA HA!!! Yeah, the Pietro/Betsy thing is based on Wizard1's stories. Hey, that sounds like a fun idea with Angelica and Pyro. I'll see what I can do! Thanks for the ideas.

To Red Witch: Here's some more madness for you! Enjoy!

To Firefly25: Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if Scott does get smacked around by Craig or the X-Girls. I'll see what I can do. I've never seen 'Deep Rising'. What's that all about?

To Wizard1: Well, not quite. It was inspired by the episode. Hope you like this new insanity! BTW, Why not have Kelly get blown up? Anyway, I can't wait for you to put up the new chapter of 'Karaoke Dance Party'!

It's Profile Time Again! Crowd hoots, hollers, chants, screams, yells, and claps. Some hold up signs This time, we take another look at everyone's favorite insane Aussie pyrokinetic, Pyro!

Pyro

Real Name: St. John Allerdyce

Class: Mutant

Allegiance: Misfit (East Coast Team), former Acolyte

Powers: Pyro's mutant physiology makes him immune to the effects of heat and flame. Pyro has the power to psionically control flames, allowing him to intensify and shape them to his whim. However, his mutant powers do not allow him to create the flames he needs, so he always carries a lighter with him or in battle, a back-mounted flame-thrower.

Birthplace: Sydney, Australia

Bio: Born in Australia, little St. John was always described as a bit "goofy in the head". When he was a boy, his family moved to Los Angeles, California. There, he befriended Paul Stanley Starr, his future Misfit teammate Starchild, and Jennifer Walters, the future Avenger known as the She-Hulk. The three always got in trouble and had adventures together. However, John's powers emerged, causing his family to disown him.

When he heard Magneto address fellow mutants at a rally alongside Starchild, John was mesmerized but Paul was frightened by Magneto's seemingly soul-less eyes. Paul pleaded with John not to join him, saying he had a bad feeling about the Master of Magnetism. It degenerated into an argument, and it would be the last time the two would see each other for years. Jennifer's whereabouts are unknown.

During an Acolyte mission in California, the other Acolytes turned on John, leaving him for dead. Luckily, John's life was saved by Starchild and the GI Joe codenamed Barbecue. John and Paul got a chance to catch up and renew their friendship. St. John would end up joining the Misfits.

When the Misfits met the Avengers for the first time, John and Paul caught up with Jennifer, who had been transformed into the She-Hulk by a blood transfusion from her cousin Bruce Banner, gaining superhuman strength and invulnerability in the process (and she also retained her intelligence and her personality became more uninhibited).

When the glam-rock band The Superstars formed, John became their drummer. The slightly-insane Allerdyce also is an avid writer, his main specialty being torrid Gothic romance novels. He hopes to be a journalist or a legendary drummer.

During the battles at Cobra-La, Pyro fell in love with new Misfit Angelica Jones, aka Firestar, much to her chagrin.

Note: John also has some odd beliefs: He believes there are sock fairies living in dryers, so he always hang-dries his socks. He also thinks Sally Struthers is out to kill him and there is a conspiracy to steal the entire world's supply of toejam and use it to conquer the world.

Chapter 2: Cruise Control, Part 2

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(A cruise ship)

Paul Starr, the East Coast Misfit and lead vocalist/guitarist of the all-mutant glam-metal band, the Superstars, known as Starchild, left Amara's room. He had given her a flowerpot full of soil. The Nova Roman princess's mutant powers had a side effect of making her weak when she was off land for too long. Paul thought that if some earth could be brought with her, it'd make the trip a little easier for her. Paul's hunch was right on. Amara told him when she touched the soil, she felt a little better, like her old self.

_My good deed for the day._ Paul smiled as he walked down the deck. _Poor ol' Amara.__ It must suck to be her right now. I'm glad my gift made her feel a little better. We'll be on dry land soon, so she really shouldn't worry. I hope that soil can help her till we get there. Who would've thought a simple pot of soil would do the trick? You learn something new every day._ He saw Sam hiding in a lifeboat. "Hi Sam."

"Not so loud, Paul!" Sam shushed. "I don't want Lila to find me."

"Aw Sam, you act like she's the Creature from the Black Lagoon." Paul chuckled. "Lila's harmless. She puts out the whole 'tough chick' thing, but she's really a big sweetheart."

"Around Jean, she **is** a tough chick." Sam reminded, remembering the last time when the mutant rocker and the red-haired telepath met. It was common knowledge they hated each other. Jean thought Lila was a loud troublemaking punk, and Lila thought Jean was a snobbish prom queen who could use a little humiliation.

"Yeah, Lila can handle herself in a brawl, but she's also sweet. She writes a lot of songs, you know that? Anyway, I'll let you hide in peace." Paul walked off, and Sam watched him. Unbeknownst to the human rocket, Lila peeked out behind him.

"That stuff he says is true, you know. I may enjoy a good fight now and then, but that don't mean I can't be just plain lovable." Lila grinned.

"Yeah, that's true…wait a minute." Sam turned around and yelped. "How long were you in here?!"

"Long enough. Now c'mere!" Lila grabbed a screaming Sam and teleported away. Meanwhile, Starchild bumped into a teenage girl with long brown hair and clad in a green-and-black one-piece swimsuit. "Oh, sorry." Paul grinned, helping her up.

"It's alright. I wasn't watching where I was going." The girl smiled. "Hey, you're Starchild! From the Superstars! I love your band!"

"Yeah. We're pretty good." Paul chuckled. "We're no Bon Jovi."

"I have a question. You know Lila Cheney's in the group?"

"Well, duh."

"Well, if this offends you, I'm sorry, but why would a big solo artist like her join a little band like you?"

"We recently received our first Gold record." Paul chuckled. "And as for Lila's reason for joining, you'll have to ask her."

"Okay. Can I have your autograph?" She held out a book.

"Sure." Paul took her pen and signed her book. "There you go."

"Oh thank you!" She squealed. The girl ran off happily. She turned a corner and sighed longingly at the signature. She pulled off her mask, revealing piercings and hair that was in long black-and-green braids. Zanya hugged the book close to her chest, laid back on the wall, then slid down to the floor with a happy sigh. "I got to see his beautiful smile again…Oh God, he just gets cuter every day…"

"Ahh, what a life…" Angelica Jones smiled happily as she laid back on a deck chair, clad in a red swimsuit. Lina was with her, an image inducer on, and clad in a blue swimsuit. "Glad you got your image inducer fixed."

"Yeah. It's nice." Lina agreed.

"Hey Lina." Fred walked up to her, carrying some suntan lotion.

"Hey Fred." Lina smiled. She noticed the suntan lotion. "Hey, could I have some?"

"Sure." Fred grinned. He sat down next to her and rubbed some on her back. "How's that?"

"Thank you." Lina smiled. Angelica chuckled. She then noticed a big fiery leaf over her head being waved back and forth. The redhead turned and saw John standing with her with his trademark "Crazy Man" grin.

"I thought I'd cool it off for you, love." John cackled. "Nothing's too good for my Fire Angel."

"John, go jump overboard." Angelica sighed. She was **really** not in the mood for being flirted with by John. St. John wasn't a bad guy, his only real flaw was all his screws were loose, and some possibly missing.

"Hey Angie, they got a beautiful view up at the end of the ship. What do you say you and I go and watch the sunset together. Y'know, like that scene from Titanic. It'd be a real ripper! I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!!" John laughed like the whacko he was.

"John, you are a king, alright. The King of Psycholand. Population: You." Angelica replied. "Don't you have to go cause an out-of-control inferno or something?"

"I already did that." John sighed. "And I thought to meself that maybe me and me Fire Angel would like to do something romantic." John grinned. A few seconds later, he found himself being chased by a screaming Angelica, carrying a fire extinguisher.

"COME BACK HERE AND DIE, YOU PSYCHO!!!!" Angelica screamed.

"What's going on here?" Scott asked as he rounded the corner. John stopped in front of him and turned around. Angelica started to nail him in the head when John ducked and…

**_CLANG!!!!_**

The extinguisher smashed Scott upside the head. With a grunt, the X-Men's leader fell down and hit the ground hard.

"Oh no!" Angelica dropped the extinguisher.

"I think you killed him." John blinked.

"Hey Scott, I forgot to mention maybe I should OH MY GOD!" Jake Wildfire, aka Red Dragon, said in horror as he rounded the corner. "What happened?"

"Angie killed him!" John blinked. "OW!" Angelica hit him.

"It was a mistake." Angelica said, still in shock. Jake knelt down and looked him over.

"He's just knocked cold. I've seen this before. When a wrestler gets hit hard enough with a steel chair, this can happen. Let's get him somewhere to rest up." Jake and John held Scott up by his limbs.

"Where to, mate?"

"My room." Jake replied.

Uh oh! Looks like already someone gets smashed! What insanity will happen next? Will Scott wake up? What'll happen to him when he does? Will Pyro ever get a break with Firestar? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	3. Cruise Control, Part 3!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To Red Witch: Glad you like it! Here's more insanity for you! BTW, you should read and review a story I wrote called "Who's Line is it Anyway, Marvel Style". In it, Marvel characters do funny improve skits like the show. Enjoy!

To Wizard1: Yeah, it didn't take too long indeed. How long before Zanya tries to take out the X-Girls? We'll see. Yeah, Angelica can't get a break when it comes to John. BTW, when does the next chapter of "Karaoke Dance Party" come up? I can't wait, man! PLEASE!!!!

To todd fan: I hope you like my stories. Some of them are holiday themed. I hope you continue to read and review my stories. BTW, I included in a review for your story "When I grow up" some info about the Black Queen. Hope that helps you. BTW, thanks a lot for telling me what tribe Dani was a member of. I had no idea she was Cheyenne.

To Raliena: Yeah, it didn't take long. Actually, I kind of imagine Scott as a guy who just has little luck, if his powers give you any indication. And it's kind of fun to watch him run away screaming.

To RogueFanKC: Yeah, John's not going to quit unless he wins Angelica's heart. (Angelica: PYRO, STAY THE HECK AWAY FROM ME!!! I GO A SHOTGUN PAL!!!) Those sound like some sweet suggestions, man! By the way, it's good to have you back! It has been a long time since you reviewed, bud! Where ya been?!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, chants, screams, cheers, and claps. Some hold up signs.) This time we take another look at a West Coast Misfit with a "Never-say-die" attitude, the fabulous Thunderbird!

Thunderbird

Real Name: John Proudstar

Class: Mutant

Allegiance: Misfits (West Coast Team)

Powers: John Proudstar has a mutant physiology that provides him with superhuman strength and endurance. After training as a West Coast Misfit, John's also exhibited slight superhuman speed (even though is not as fast as Velocity or Quicksilver), and slight resistance to injury (But unlike the Blob or Red Dragon in his Dragon Mode, John is not truly invulnerable).

Birthplace: Camp Verde Apache Reservation, Arizona

Bio: The son of a decorated retired US Marine, John Proudstar as a kid was always a great athlete. John always thought of himself as a loner, and dreamed of being a great warrior like his ancestors. As a result, he grew bored of reservation life and hoped to someday leave to find adventure.

John's life changed forever on two important occasions. The first was the emergence of his mutant powers. At the age of 16, his strength revealed itself when he wrestled and threw a charging bison with his bare hands to save a little girl. He became a hero for it, but no one knew how John got the strength to do it (At the time, the tribe didn't know or realize John was a mutant, including John himself).

The second occasion was when Ace Starr visited Arizona to check out the mesas. He was traveling around to find some fun after his undercover work within the Hellions ended. He met now-17-year-old John at a mesa, and the two discovered they both had a love for adventure, and they became friends. Ace, as a joke, gave John the codename "Thunderbird" because in his own words, "It sounds Native Americany." When a mad scientist unleashed a genetically-enhanced bear on the reservation that day, Wildstar and Thunderbird joined forces to subdue it. As a gesture of thanks, Ace was made an honorary member of the Apache tribe, and Thunderbird told Ace if his strength was needed, he would be available.

Ace called that favor sometime later, when he asked Proudstar to help him subdue the bio-droid known as the Mimic. John's hatchet destroyed the mutant Dreadnok Virus's speakerbox, a device Virus used to control the Mimic. Soon after, Proudstar became a founding member of the West Coast Misfits alongside Wildstar, X23, Siryn, Thunderbolt, Velocity, Sunfire, Wolfsbane, and Dazzler.

To this day, he serves as a West Coast Misfit, and he has been injured during the battle at Cobra-La.

Note: In battle, Proudstar's pride and impetuousness tends to cause him to charge right into the thick of things, which sometimes gets him into big trouble. A loner at heart, Proudstar helped found the West Coast Misfits, hoping to use the team to achieve his dream of becoming a great Apache warrior. He's loyal to his friends and he has a never-say-die attitude. He also has a younger brother named James who recently exhibited powers like John's. James helped his older brother and the other Misfits (both teams) stop a gang during the Misfit Cannonball Run. Until Beast King joined, Thunderbird was the eldest of the West Coast Misfits.

**Author's Note: Hey folks! L17 here! Listen, I want to have Scott wake up under the delusion he's somebody, but I can't think who. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.**

Chapter 3: Cruise Control, Part 3!

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(The cruise ship)

"Great! What a way to run a wrestling promotion." Jake Wildfire grumbled. He and his fellow Misfits St. John Allerdyce and Angelica Jones were all helping to carry a knocked-cold Scott Summers. Scott got knocked cold when Angelica accidentally smashed him upside in the head with a fire extinguisher. She actually was trying to hit John, who had a crush on her.

"Yeah." John laughed. "Man, if anyone asks, we should say he's drunk. Or Kathy Bates had her way with him." John looked around in a panic.

"What's with him and Kathy Bates?" Angelica asked Jake. Red Dragon shrugged.

"I have no idea."

"Whoops!" John tripped and fell back.

"John, what're you oh God! Yipe!" Angelica exclaimed. Pyro fell backward on his butt. It caused Jake and Angelica to pitch Scott into the air. "Oh no!" Scott ended up falling into one of those pipe-like vent shafts that made occasional appearances on the deck.

"No!" Before the three Misfits could reach him, Scott slid down. The Misfits stopped, and stared down at the pipe. "Now what do we do?" Jake exclaimed.

"I think he's shrimp on the Barbie, mate." John blinked. The sound of something metal was heard, as well as a moan.

"Ohhhhhhh….Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…"

"Oh great! Now what?!" Angelica groaned. "The X-Men are going to kill us."

"They're already on the verge of doing that." Jake sighed.

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(In another part of the ship)

"Hope you feel better, Amara." Dani Moonstar said as she walked out of Amara's room. The Cheyenne girl had come to check on the Nova Roman.

"Okay…Steady…Steady…" Zanya mumbled as she hid at a window. She had pointed a crossbow at Mirage's head. But she wasn't quite going to have a lucky day. Dani noticed Jamie run by clad in a beach version of his wild suits. Trinity was chasing him, wearing identical pink-and-purple swimsuits.

"Yeah, you got your deal! I think Pietro will endorse the cola! He drinks it all the time! Look pal, I got triplets after me man!"

"KISSY TIME!!"

"Come back, Jamie!"

"We love you!" Trinity squealed as they raced by.

"Look out!" Jamie swatted a beach ball that flew by him. The ball hit Zanya, causing her to fire the arrow. It sped by harmlessly until it hit the butt of a French waiter.

"Sacre bleu!" The waiter screamed, dropping the dinner he carried and jumping overboard in his pain-induced delirium.

"Oh man!" Zanya grumbled. "Is it really gonna be this hard eliminating those wenches that chase after my man?!"

If you think the madness will continue, raise your hand! What insanity will happen next? Will Zanya be able to take out the X-Girls? Will Scott be alright? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	4. Almost on Shore!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

**Disclaimer: In case I forgot, I DON'T OWN ANYTHING MARVEL OR SUNBOW!!! NOW LLEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT IT!!!!**

To Sparky Genocide: Hey, that's not a bad idea. Scott he's thinking he's different people. Now how the heck will I constantly cause him to get hit in the head?

To Wizard1: And things aren't going to get any easier for that French waiter. You'll see. Yeah, it's seems the X-Groupies have gotten a share of the Starchild luck or it's Trinity. Maybe both. BTW, when does the new chapter of 'Karaoke Dance Party' come up?

To Red Witch: Read your new stuff and loved it! Frank Sinatra? Well, I'll see what I can do. I can hardly wait to read your new projects! BTW Red, I got a story in the Marvel section called "Who's Line is it Anyway: Marvel Style"! If you want to see the Marvel Super Heroes do improv comedy, read this story!

To Lunarious: Nice to hear from you! Read 'Mutant Millionaire'. Couldn't stop laughing.

To c-wolf: Oh, I think I can fit in BA's coffee somewhere…

To Metal Dragon1: Scott as Drew Carey? How about the character of Gollum from 'Lord of the Rings'? Yeah, well don't tell Trinity about the device, it'll give' em ideas that the world can**not** afford to have. Please put up the next chapter quick!

To todd fan: Glad I could help. I hope you continue reading my work.

To Goofn1: If you read the latest chapter of 'Mad Malibu Summer', I put up a profile of Lance for you. Enjoy!

To Raliena: You have a point there, Rae. He ain't dead yet.

To Aaron: Scott as the Hurricane or Perry Saturn, huh? That sounds cool. I remember Chavo Guerrero with Pepe. If I remember correctly, either Saturn or Raven threw Pepe into a wood chipper.

It's Profile Time again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, claps, and chants. Some hold up signs) This time, we take another look at one of Pyro's favorite Joes, his caretaker, Barbecue!

Barbecue

Real Name: Gabriel A. Kelly

Affiliation: Army

Rank: E-4

Primary Military Specialty: Fireman

Secondary Military Specialty: Infantry, Misfit Handler (Pyro)

Birthplace: Boston, Massachusetts

Bio: Barbecue and the Wildfire Brothers both share two things in common: They're all Boston natives and they come from families devoted to one profession. But whereas Red Dragon and Thunderbolt come from a family of professional wrestlers, Barbecue comes from a family of firemen. In fact, Barbecue would've been part of the **seventh** generation of his family to serve the Boston Fire Department (Barbecue has several brothers who all serve the Boston FD)!

The sounds of sirens wailing and the usage of the axe is in Barbecue's blood, and he decided to bring those skills to the Army. One of his favorite pastimes is to kick down doors.

Barbecue is also a notorious party animal. He knows every party trick out there, and he always knows how to lighten the mood. His life changed when he found the Australian mutant known as Pyro beaten and left for dead by the Acolytes. Barbecue and Pyro bonded as Pyro recovered. Barbecue helped the young mutant realize not all humans were bad, and when Pyro joined the Misfits, Barbecue became his handler. The two celebrated by throwing a party.

Everyone jokes that Pyro and Barbecue deserve each other: Pyro likes starting fires, and Barbecue likes putting them out! Barbecue also is friends with Red Dragon, considering they're both from legendary Boston families.

Chapter 4: Almost on Shore!

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"Uhhh…" The French waiter moaned as he managed to get back on the boat. He saw the door of the engine room. He also heard knocking from the other side. "Huh?" He cautiously walked to the door. When he touched the handle, the door suddenly burst open. "Sacre bleu!" The waiter screamed as he got knocked back overboard. The open door revealed Scott Summers. He had plastered white feathers all over himself. He flapped his arms up and down like a bird.

"Bacaw! Bok bok bok bok bok bacaw!" Scott crowed. Evidently poor Cyclops thought he was a chicken. Speaking of Cyclops, his girlfriend Jean was sunbathing on the deck.

"Ahhh…" Jean smiled. "This is the life." She looked over at the other X-Girls. "Isn't it?"

"Yup." Kitty grinned. She chuckled as she saw Lance sit in the sandbox with Spyder across the deck. The spider-like Misfit took to the geokinetic as an older brother and Spirit raises them together.

"Can I go, Spyder? I gotta rub Kitty's feet." Lance begged. He and Spyder were building a sandcastle.

"She's got you whipped, man." Spyder shook her head. "Why do you do this to yourself? She's stringing you along as well as Metal Man. Why can't you just give up and find a new girlfriend. Like Angelica?"

"Don't start with that garbage." Lance grumbled. "It's bad enough Pietro constantly tries to get us together. Besides, I don't like her in _that_ way and I don't want to tick off Pyro. You remember the last time Pyro got mad."

"Yeah, BA told us he used Play-Doh in some Australian dish he made. The way John acted, you think he insulted his entire family." Spyder chuckled. "But to be serious, even Mr. Oblivious, real name Paul Starr, notices this stuff. I don't think Kitty really loves you or Metal Mouth." Lance rolled his eyes.

"You're young. You'll understand when you get older HEY!!!" Lance saw Peter walk up to Kitty. "That vodka-chugging no good…" Lance muttered under his breath as he got up to confront Colossus yet again. Spyder shook her head.

"I think I pretty much get it." She sighed. She noticed a couple white feathers flutter down toward her sand castle. "Huh?" Spyder looked up and saw Scott, feathers and all. He clucked and continued running around.

"SCOTT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Jean screamed. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF?!" Jake, John, and Angelica noticed.

"Uh oh." They said to each other. A Southern man dressed like Col. Sanders saw Scott run by, clucking.

"YEEE-HAH!!!" The man screamed in a Texas accent delightfully. "Ah'm gonna fry me some chicken!" He pulled a flamethrower out and fired it at Scott.

"BACAW!!!" Scott screamed in fright, and he ran for his life.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(The sky above the ship)

"Now _this_ is the life." The Weather Goddess smiled. She was laying on a cloud, like a regular person floats on water. She looked down at the boat. "Alright! We're almost ashore." Shipwreck flew up to her, wearing a hat like Inspector Gadget's, complete with helicopter blades and handles. Without turning her head and still with that smile on her face, Ororo blasted the sailor/SEAL with lightning, causing the hat to explode, and Shipwreck to fall. Shipwreck fell on top of the French waiter who was trying to climb back on the ship.

"Sacre bleu!" The waiter screamed as he and Shipwreck hit the water.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Ship's galley)

"This shall provide some great amusement, correct Foxfire?" An invisible Xi asked an invisible Jason Fox.

"Oh yeah." Fox grinned. The two invisible mutants immediately switched the coffee on board the ship with a certain banned coffee. "This is gonna be great. I can't wait to see ol' Baldy perform wheelies!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(The ship's arcade)

"Alright! Ah love this game!" Rogue eyed an arcade game of Castlevania. She took a quick look around, then raced to the game. She put a quarter in, then started playing. "Die die die die! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!" Rogue didn't notice a small device placed on the game designed to put out an immense electrical shock. Zanya peeked in with an evil grin.

"Let's see you try to take my man now, you Kentucky Fried Wench." Zanya grinned as she pressed a button on the detonator. Nothing happened. "What?" She tried again. Nothing. "What the?" She kept pressing the button. Nothing. "What is going on?" Rogue left the arcade.

"Ah need quarters. Perhaps Paul has some. _Oh sugahhhhhhhhhhh_…" Rogue called out in a sing-song voice as she ran off. She saw Scott run by, in all his feathered glory, Col. Sanders chasing after him with a flamethrower. "Scott is one sick little boy."

"I don't get it! Stupid Virus!" Zanya threw the device's control button at the wall. "I am going to **kill** him!" She looked at the Castlevania game. "Well, I do like this game…" She took the game's joystick…and got a million volts pumped into her. "**_YEEEEEEEOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**"

Well, the insanity just continues! What madness will happen next? Will Zanya be able to eliminate the X-Girls? Will Scott ever get back to normal? What'll happen to the adults when they drink the coffee? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	5. Ashore at Last!

Hawaiian Havoc!

**Disclaimer: "Oh great, another lunatic." -Lazlow, Grand Theft Auto III (One of my favorite games!)**

To Goofn1: I'm glad you liked the sandbox moment. Well, I guess Spyder has Lance's best interests in mind, but I think it's also because she's got a bit of a crush on Lance herself. Lance's teammates _do_ care about him, I guess. But sometimes I think they get a good laugh out of Lance's bad luck. 

To Red Witch: Yeah, Zanya torture is kind of fun. Man, everyone loves Scott as a chicken! I dunno **how** I'm going to torture that waiter on dry land. BTW, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised when I reveal that waiter's identity, heh heh heh.

To Sparky Genocide: Hmm, Scotty going through personalities thanks to unintentional shots in the head. That sounds really great! I deal with that Cold Slither thing in "Mad Malibu Summer!" You should read it!

To RogueFanKC: Yeah, even someone as cunning as Zanya can't take down the lovestruck X-Girls! Yeah, and you won't believe who gets hit by the coffee.

To todd fan: Well, I hope you like this new chapter! Oh yeah, I read the new chapter of "To Err is Human", and loved it! I hope you put up the next chapter soon!

To Raliena: I said it before and I'll say it again, Paul does **_not_** have some kind of probability-based power. It's just all the good karma Paul's built up over the years.

To Wizard1: Hey Wizard1, where are you?! I want to see the new chapter of 'Karaoke Dance Party'!

To Metal Dragon1: Read the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" and loved it! I hope the next one comes up quickly! Oh, and Shawn and Rick should consider themselves lucky that Tabby and X23 didn't kill them where they stood!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants and claps. Some hold up signs) This time, we take another look at a Joe handler who knows his machine guns as much as he knows his cooking, Roadblock!

Roadblock

Real Name: Marvin F. Hinton

Affiliation: Army

Rank: Sergeant First Class

Primary Military Specialty: Heavy Machine Gunner, Infantry Heavy Weapons

Secondary Military Specialty: Cook, Misfit Handler (Blob, Toad)

Birthplace: Biloxi, Mississippi

Bio: As a boy, Roadblock was a Boy Scout and a member of a church choir with dreams of being a gourmet chef. When he grew up, the fact that he was a large guy helped him get a job as a bouncer. He saved money to hopefully study at the prominent Escoffier School in France, a famous cooking school.

When a recruiter said that Roadblock could be trained as a cook in the Army, Roadblock immediately signed up. He took well to military life, except the fact that he was horrified by the cuisine. Roadblock became famous for mastering what would become his specialty weapon, the M-2 Browning .50 caliber machine gun, a weapon that most soldiers find it difficult to even **lift**, much less fire. As a result, he was asked to join GI Joe.

During a recon in a jungle, Roadblock found a battered and beaten Todd, left to die by Magneto. Toad would end up becoming one of the first Misfits. When Toad's ex-Brotherhood teammates Avalanche, Scarlet Witch, Blob, and Quicksilver ended up under Joe care, Roadblock also ended up caring for the Blob. Under Roadblock's care, Blob discovered a talent for cooking as well as psychology.  

Chapter 5: Ashore at Last!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

(The Harbor)

"**_YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**" Logan, Jinx, Recondo, Cover Girl, Shipwreck, Warren, Beast, Low Light, and Xavier hooted as they raced down the gangwalk at incredible speed. The Misfits and the X-Men blinked at this.

"Um, can anyone explain that?" Quinn asked, holding Claudius.

"You got me." Spyder blinked, holding Beaky.

"**_AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!_**" Xi and Jason Fox made themselves visible.

"What did you do, Foxfire?" Jean asked with a glare.

"Oh, _this_ will be good." Lila smirked. "Hey Red, can't keep your boyfriends in line?"

"Shut up, Lila." Jean growled.

"I introduced the adults to a special coffee." Fox smirked. "Figured it would help them get in the vacation mindset."

"BA's coffee?! Foxfire, you and I may be friends because we both hate Scott, but that's CRAZY!!" Lance exclaimed.

"Oh relax. It'll wear off."

"It's _what they do_ until it wears off that worries us!" Dani exclaimed.

"You worry too much, babe." Fox grinned.

"Don't call me that, Fox." Dani warned. "I'm **not** some groupie!"

"Says the pot to the kettle." Craig muttered to Sam, referring to Dani's thing for Starchild. Sam nodded.

"Foxfire, what were you thinking?!" Kitty snapped.

"I was trying to liven up the adults so I could have a laugh!" Fox exclaimed in his own defense.

"You egomaniacal moron!"

"At least my mom isn't trying to be Demi Moore and my dad is a faACK!! ACK!!! ACK!!!" Fox screamed when Kitty started trying to wring his neck. Jake overheard.

_Oh no! First Scott thinks he's the new __San Diego__ Chicken, now this! Thanks a lot, Fox! You really know how to liven things up!_ Jake groaned. The others noticed Scott run down the gangwalk, Col. Sanders behind him. They also saw Scott fall over a small brick barricade and smack his head against a palm tree.

"Ohhhhh…"

"Scott!" Jean exclaimed. Kurt and Lila teleported over to check on him.

"Uh, Jean…" Kurt blinked.

"Hey Red, one of your human toys lost his mind." Lila chuckled. When Scott got up, he was clad rather smartly: A white shirt with a black suit and tie, a black hat, and black shoes.

"Ugh. Where am I?"

"What is your name?" Lila asked Scott. Scott looked at them.

"Who are you people? And I have to make a gig. You see, I'm on a mission from God."

"Oh no." Kurt moaned.

"He thinks he's one of the Blues Brothers!" Lila laughed. "I love that movie!"

"Scott! What happened to Scott?" Jean exclaimed as she and the others came down.

"Scott thinks he's one of the Blues Brothers." Kurt sighed.

"By the way, where's Jake?" Scott asked. "Have you seen him? He promised he'd be here an hour ago!"

"Oh good. He's Elwood. I'd be very worried for him if he thought he was Jake Blues. After all, he was the fat one." Pietro quipped.

"Pietro, now is **not** the time for _your_ comedy." Rogue groaned.

"Maybe if we find a House of Blues or something like that, we can help Scott." Paul suggested to Jean as a whisper.

"Guys, John Belushi is dead. Which means that Jake Blues is dead. What do we do?" Lance whispered.

"Wait! Ever seen Blues Brothers 2000?" Lila asked. "In that movie, Elwood finds a new partner in Mighty Mack."

"Yeah but where are going to get a guy big enough…" Craig started until he looked at Blob. All the Superstars did.

"No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no." Blob shook his head, waving his hands. "Forget it! I don't know any blues songs! I can't even _sing!_"

"Hopefully, you won't have to, Blob. Just walk with him dressed like a Blues Brother." Lina shrugged.

"Hey look what I got for the West Coat guys." Pyro grinned, holding a small metal sphere with a stand that had a conveyor belt inside. "I forget what it's called, a Van something sphere, but touch it!" Lina touched the metal sphere, and she got a small shock.

"Eek!" Lina jumped and hid behind Blob.

"Uh, Lina is struggling with a slight fear of electricity. She's had it since Darkbolt attacked her at that whole Cobra-La thing." Fred reminded.

"Oh, sorry." John blinked. "Sorry Lina. I forgot."

"Th-th-that's okay, John." Lina shuddered.

"Of course, Kyle _himself_ never made things better." Angelica growled. "You know, I think he never really apologized for his treatment of Lina. I swear, if I ever get my hands on that loudmouthed bully, I'll roast him!"

"Take a number." Blob growled. 

"Look, we're here to have fun, huh?" Paul sighed. "Kyle's in California, so Lina has nothing to be afraid of."

"Thanks to Darkbolt, I'm frightened by lightning storms all over again." Lina groaned. "And Kyle got a good laugh out of it."

"Ah, let's not talk about that thunder-throwing jerk. Let's have some fun!" Angelica grinned.

"I'll put lotion on your back, hon." John offered. "OW!!" Angelica hit him with the fire extinguisher.

"Anyway, we'll--" Lance turned and saw Scott was gone. "Oh well. Let's go party!"

"YEAH!!!" Everyone said.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(The Harbor)

"Ohhhh…" The waiter moaned as he climbed on the pier. His golden name tag read 'Matthews'. "Huh?" He walked to the harbor and noticed a horde of hyped-up mutants and Joes race towards him. "SACRE BLEU AAAAAAGH!!!!" He screamed as he got trampled. "Ohhhhhh…"

Well, looks like Hawaii will never be the same! What insanity will happen next? What madness will several hyped-up adults get into? Who will Scott think he is next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	6. Random Madness!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To soulstress: Nice to hear from you! I read your story "Tempest" and I loved it! The Pyro-chasing-Angelica thing was inspired by Red Witch's fics. Lance doesn't like Angelica in that way, although Pietro and Spyder wishes he did.

To Sparky Genocide: Scott as Barbara Streisand, huh? Well, I'll see what I can do for that. Thanks for the suggestions.

To Goofn1: Glad you liked the Lance/Spyder sibling moment. Well, Lance is a good guy who gets constantly punched in the mouth by fate and Cupid because they enjoy messing with him in my opinion. Well, Fox only wanted to liven up things.

To Raliena: Yeah, the waiter was related to Duncan Matthews. Well you gotta understand, John's brain is messed up. Some say he was born cuckoo, some say the fires he sets does weird things to his brain, but he's nuts either way. Wow, so I assume you're going to a private school.

To c-wolf: Yeah, Al's here. In the Blues Brothers movie, half the cops in the Southern U.S. went after them!

To Red Witch: Yeah, a Matthews family member! Actually, In "GI Joe: The Movie, Evo-tized", Jake tells Lina Kyle is afraid of needles. Of course Kyle's not going to apologize to Lina. He thinks she deserved being attacked by Darkbolt. (Kyle: She's a walking bulls-eye!) Good luck painting your bedroom!

To Aaron: Yeah, I thought it'd be funny for the adults to be hyped up on BA's coffee. Actually, the waiter was a relative of Duncan's. Here's more Misfit madness for you! Enjoy!

To Wizard1: WHERE ARE YOU?!?!

It's Profile Time again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs.) This time, we look at a member of the Dreadnoks. He is the pyromaniac of the crazy bikers, Torch!

Torch

Real Name: Tom Winken

Allegiance: Dreadnoks

Function: Dreadnok Flamethrower

Bio: Botany Bay, New South Wales, Australia

Bio: Torch was n trouble throughout most of his life. At the age of fourteen, he was remanded to Borstal, a boarding school in his native Australia. He would later escape and join the Merchant Marines, where he first learned to use the tool that would become his trademark: The oxy-acetylene cutting torch. Taking the name Torch, he rolled in several biker gangs before joining the Dreadnoks.

Not too bright, Torch can't even read! He loves to terrorize and destroy. He often used a cutting torch in fights. However, when the arrogant and insane mutant Dreadnok known as Virus gained a mutant talent for invention, he built torch a rifle/flamethrower weapon. Torch cares for his new 'Inferno Gun' like a newborn son, often sleeping with it. He's known to have named it 'Torch Jr.'.

He also, despite his lack of business knowledge, or any knowledge for that matter, started a company called 'Uncle Winken's Grape Soda', whichactually does pretty well.

Chapter 6: Random Madness!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(A street in Honolulu)

The X-Men and Misfits split up to have some fun and hopefully find the BA's coffee-jacked adults.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Spyder asked. She, Fox, and Lance were hiding behind a hedge. Fox held a digital camcorder, and he carried spare memory cards in a pocket on his belt.

"You're lucky I hate Scott, Lance." Fox warned. "I've been trying to hide from all the women in Hawaii."

"Yeah, they're out for your blood, Foxy." Spyder quipped with a laugh. Foxfire glared.

"Look kid, you're lucky you're Lance's little sister and you're 12, or else I'd kick your butt." Fox glared. "I'll have you know women find me very attractive. They can't get enough of me!"

"Yeah, they can't get enough of beating you up, Fox." Lance chuckled. Fox snarled.

"You want me to film Scott embarrassing himself for blackmail or not?" Fox snapped.

"Okay okay." Lance waved. "Here he comes. Is that camera on?"

"Yeah. I got a brain. I'm more than just a pretty face, pal." Fox grumbled.

"Oh man, this is funny." Spyder snickered. The three mutants snickered as Scott, still dressed as Elwood Blues, walked down the street carrying a briefcase. He stopped, put the briefcase down, and opened it. He pulled out a harmonica and closed the case. He then stood there and started playing a bluesy solo.

"Who knew Scott could play the harmonica?" Fox snickered.

"Yeah, he's pretty good." Lance blinked. "Maybe we should let him stay like this. Easier to tolerate."

"Hey, some dude just threw him one hundred bucks." Spyder blinked.

"Oh, here come the cops." Fox snickered. "Maybe they'll pull a Rodney King."

"We can only hope." Lance replied. The cops took Scott by his arms, and they accidentally bonked his head on the car roof. Scott hit the ground. When they pulled him back up, He was clad in a fancy dress, blond wig, and a fake nose. He started singing 'A Star is Born'. The three mutants retched, as did the cops.

"Aw come on! Let's get this sicko off the street!" One cop growled as he and his partner grabbed a singing Scott and shoved him in the back seat.

"Get the car, you guys!" Fox ordered. "Follow that Barbra!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(At the beach)

"I must say Ms. Delgado, this is most unnecessary. After all, I do have a black belt in three martial arts." A man said to Althea. He was a rather handsome fellow for a guy in his fifties, with black hair that had graying temples. His body seemed to indicate he exercised regularly despite his age. He laid back in a foldable lawn chair. Next to him in another chair was Althea in a blue one-piece swimsuit. Sitting behind her on the same chair was Todd, rubbing her shoulders.

"I'm sorry Mr. Redford, but I have to stick with you as leader of the Misfits and as per the fact the Joes are…disabled." Althea sighed.

"Besides yo, Cobra might want to be after you for your company. After all, Redford Enterprises is one of the world's leading vehicle design companies." Todd added.

"Yeah." Mr. Redford replied. "I guess so. As a kid, I was always fascinated more by the hood of a car than what was under it. I figured a vehicle should be as beautiful as the engine powering it. My empire started as a humble car customization shop, believe it or not."

"Let me guess, you used the highest quality parts and the absolute state-of-the-art in customization techniques." Althea replied, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah. Look, I know Cobra sent an assassin after me, but I can handle myself." Mr. Redford replied.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Up in a palm tree above the beach nearby)

_I can't believe I was sent by Serpentor to kill off some old playboy._ Zanya grumbled as she sat on a palm tree, using her powers to stay invisible. She was about to aim at Redford's head when she noticed Jean walk by. _Well, as long as I'm here, I might as well take out those X-Wenches. They think they can steal my beloved Starchild, huh? Well, I'll show you! I don't have to worry about the one called Husk, though. She's obsessed with Starchild's cousin Wildstar. So long, Red. No amount of mental power can save you now._ Zanya aimed her rifle at an oblivious Jean's head.

"Hey, my ball!" Someone snapped. A beach ball flew out of nowhere and hit Zanya.

"Hey!" Zanya growled as the ball hit her. It caused her to lose her balance, and fall off the tree screaming. "OW!!" She landed on the ground hard. "Ohhhhh…"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(A local disco in Bayville)

"I can't believe the adults split up!" Sam groaned. He, Bobby, and Paige were hanging around inside the disco after they saw the BA Coffee-hyped Professor Xavier roll into the building.

"Maybe he left." Bobby shrugged.

"Uh guys…" Paige pointed in the middle of the dance floor. The Bee Gees song "You Should Be Dancing" played on the speakers. Xavier rolled out, dressed in a replica of the white suit John Travolta wore in "Saturday Night Fever", as well as a big afro. He then started to mimic the moves of John Travolta, using telekinesis to make his wheelchair twirl. The crowd cheered and the New Mutants' jaws dropped.

"How are we going to explain this?" Sam groaned. "Is Lila still out there?" He saw Lila peek out the door. She would **not** enter the disco. As soon as he saw her, she quickly moved her head away. _Great.__ I'm stuck here. If I try to leave, she'll ambush me!_

Well, looks like the insanity will never end! What madness will happen next? What else are the adults doing? Who or what will Scott think he is next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	7. More Random Madness!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To Goofn1: Yeah, Lance can never really catch a break. BTW, who's your Jeff? You mention him quite a bit. Here's more insanity for you! Enjoy!

To Wizard1: Yeah, Scott's Barbra Streisand. For now. I don't know where I got the idea of Xavier doing disco. I just needed something insane. Hey, thanks for the ideas! I really appreciate them! Yeah, I wanted to see the adults hyped up on BA's coffee! We saw Hank once in RW's fics. And Scott and Zanya still have no luck. Heh heh. BTW, when does the new chapter of 'Karaoke Dance Party' come up? I want to read it!

To Red Witch: Wow. That's quite an undertaking, two 100-chapter fics at once. I'll see what I can do for General Scott Patton.

To Soulstress: Glad you liked the Disco Xavier! And yes, you can borrow anything from my fics.

To Metal Dragon1: When does the next chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" come up? I want to read it!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, chants, screams, and claps. Some hold up signs) AS part of our Dreadnok theme, we'll look at another member of the rogue biker gang. This time, we look at the chainsaw-wielding maniac of the bunch, Buzzer!

Buzzer

Real Name: Dick Blinken (Actually Richard Blinken-Smythe)

Function: Maniacal Chainsaw Wielder

Birthplace: Cambridge, England

Bio: Buzzer was actually born Richard Blinken-Smythe. Buzzer would grow up to be a sociology expert for Cambridge University, albeit he was thinking on the extreme left-wing. One time, he went to Australia to research biker gangs. Somehow, he got transformed into the very object he researched. Some say it had something to do with the fact that he was displeased with the two-faced nature of society.

His specialty is the usage of a diamond-toothed chainsaw. Before the West Coast Misfits recruited Rictor in Mexico, the mutant Dreadnok known as Virus gave him a new weapon: a wrist-mounted retractable chainsaw that has teeth made from a combination of diamond and the indestructible metal known as adamantium. The device is lightweight, so Buzzer can easily wield it.

Buzzer is one of the smarter members of the Dreadnoks, but his arrogance tends to get in the way.

Chapter 7: More Random Madness!

- - - - - - - - - -

(The streets of a Hawaiian town)

"I'm following the cops, Fox. Be ready to film anything." Lance ordered. He followed the cop car in a rental. Fox sat in the passenger seat, camcorder ready. Spyder sat in the back seat, drinking her juice.

"Who do you think Scott'll think he is next?" Spyder grinned.

"I don't know, shorty. Should be good, though." Lance replied.

"Uh oh." Fox blinked. "Here we go!"

"Whoa!" The three screamed as the car hit a pothole. The police car before them hit the pothole, and it caused both cars to jerk up and down. The cop car stopped suddenly.

"Fox! Camera! Now!" Lance ordered. Fox immediately put up the camera. Yelling was heard from within the car and so was roaring. The back door of the car flew off, like it was kicked off the hinges. Scott emerged from the van, and he looked different: He was clad only in a pair of tattered jeans. His skin was painted green, and he wore a green wig. Scott roared and ran away slowly, like a cheesy 70s show special effect.

"Fox, are you getting this?!" Lance laughed. "He thinks he's the Hulk!"

"That…could be bad." Spyder blinked. "Remember Lance, Hulk broke your arms." Lance started grumbling.

"I'll follow him and make sure he stays out of trouble." Fox followed Scott on foot.

"Hey wait for us!" Lance and Spyder ran after the Detroit native.

- - - - - - - - - -

(A café)

"Have you seen a gruff, grizzly-like man and an Asian woman with him?" Paul asked a couple, pointing at a photo of Logan and Jinx. The couple shook their head. "Thanks. Sorry to bother you." Paul returned to a café. There, he went to a table that Storm, Rogue, John, and Pietro sat at. "I asked for an hour. No one has seen 'em."

"You know what, mate?" John cackled. "Too bad you and I are the only males in this group."

"Hey!" Pietro exclaimed. "I'm a male?"

"You sure about that?" John grinned.

"You're asking for a high-speed beatdown, psycho!" Pietro snapped.

"And you're askin to be set on fire!" John snapped back, turning his lighter on. John gasped and squeaked when Storm took his lighter. "My Sheila! You cruel woman…my Sheila…"

"I'll give you back your lighter later." Storm sighed. _This guy is a kook! No wonder the Acolytes kicked him out!_

"It's alright, sugah." Rogue reassured Paul. "You did your best."

"Thanks, Rogue. When the adults separated, we knew we were in trouble." Paul sighed. Meanwhile, Storm was trying to hold back Pyro.

"Gimme my lighter! Gimme my lighter! Gimme my liiiiiiighterrrrrrrrrr!" John begged.

"Get off me!" Ororo exclaimed.

"I'll go inside and get us some drinks. It's hot out here." Paul chuckled. "About as hot as back home in LA." Paul entered the café and inside, he heard giggling coming from the coatroom. A confused Paul crept carefully in. He heard giggling coming from behind a door. Paul quietly crept up to the door and peeked in. "Yipe!" Paul ran out of there and found the others.

"What's wrong, sugah?" Rogue asked.

"You guys, I think I found Logan and Jinx." Paul gulped.

- - - - - - - - - -

(The beach)

"It feels good to be on dry land again." Amara said to Craig. She was feeling a lot better, but she still was a little weak, so Craig had to watch over her.

"Yeah, whatever." Craig replied. He started doodling on the sand with a stick.

"Your brother's gift helped a lot." Amara grinned. "His pot of soil made the trip a little easier."

"I'll tell him that." Craig replied simply. "You know, I had better things to do before your adult caretakers got hopped up on coffee."

"That's Foxfire's fault." Amara groaned. "Besides, your Joe caretakers are also running around hyper."

"Yeah, yeah." Craig grumbled. Jamie ran up to the two mutants.

"Craig! Craig! Guess what! I have incredible news!" While Jamie told Craig his news, Zanya was hiding behind a sandcastle, rigging a bomb.

"All I got to do is get this under that Magma witch, and POW!! One less obstacle between me and Starchild!" Zanya set a timer on it for ten seconds. "There we go…" She got ready to slide the bomb over to the mutants. Until a certain large Scotsman accidentally stepped on the sandcastle, covering her in sand. "Hey!"

"Outta mah way!" Fat Bastard yelled.

"You got sand all over me!" Zanya screeched.

"What in the world?" Craig watched alongside Amara and Jamie. Zanya and Fat Bastard continued arguing until Zanya heard beeping.

"Oh no…" **_KABOOM!!!!!!!!_** "**_WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**" Zanya was sent flying.

"Man, she's one weird Dreadnok." Jamie shook his head. "Are you _sure_ she's Zartan's kid?"

"Maybe she was adopted." Craig shrugged.

Well, looks like the insanity will continue! What madness will happen next? What else are the adults doing? What scheme will Zanya try next to take out the X-Girls? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	8. Even More Random Madness!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To Wizard1: When are going to put up the new chapter of 'Karaoke Dance Party'? I want to read it! I can't wait for more!

To Goofn1: Yeah, I have a feeling Lance is going to hold a lot of power over Scott thanks to the footage Fox is getting. I don't know if I'll be able to do anything with Jean. Here's more madness for you! Oh, and what does JD mean?

To Red Witch: Glad you liked it! Here's more Zanya torture and insane authority figures for you! Enjoy!

To Metal Dragon1: How did Fat Bastard get to Hawaii from Malibu? Well, it's safe to say that Dr. Evil may have a teleporter on him. The guy **does** have a time machine after all. Glad you liked the info I gave you and too bad you can't post another chapter till after the tenth.

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs.) Keeping up our Dreadnok theme, we're looking at the last of the original three Dreadnoks, Ripper!

Ripper

Real Name: Harry Nod **(A/N: Are there _real_ names like this in ****Australia****?)**

Function: Dreadnok Warrior

Birthplace: Grim Cape, Tasmania

Bio: Tasmania is home to many devils, and Ripper is the worst out of all of them. As a child, he was expelled from nursery school for extorting candy from his schoolmates.

He spent most of his teenage and adult life in jail. He's motivated by greed and a hatred for society, the perfect Dreadnok.

His preferred weapon is anything with a sharp edge or a blade. His main weapon originally was a bayonet on the end of a rifle. When the Dreadnoks pursued the West Coast Misfit known as Rictor, the insane Dreadnok known as Virus gave him a wrist-mounted retractable energy-charged blade that Ripper can use as a sword, axe, or can opener.

Chapter 8: Even More Random Madness!

- - - - - - - - - -

(The streets of town)

_KLUNK!!!_

"Hurry! He went this way!" Fox, Spyder, and Lance raced down the street, Fox had his camera up. Scott grunted as he got to his feet. He was clad in a brown suit with a cape, a deerstalker hat, and he had a pipe in his mouth. He held a magnifying glass.

"Oh, now **this** is rich!" Spyder chuckled as Lance helped a snickering Scott up.

"You okay, Holmes?" Lance asked in mock concern.

"Of course I am alright. Many thanks, Constable." Scott replied in an English accent.

"Hey, where's Watson, Sheer Luck?" Fox chuckled.

"I was searching for my friend. He went out to get more magnifying glass cleaner and never returned. I may require your help to find him." Scott responded.

"_Please_ tell us you got spare batteries and memory cards, Fox." Spyder whispered.

"Yeah, don't worry about it." Fox grinned.

"Let's humor him." Lance whispered. "We can never have too much blackmail material."

"Right." Fox and Spyder nodded.

"What do you plan to make him do?" Spyder asked Fox.

"Dance like a crazy man in the middle of Bayville High." Fox smirked.

- - - - - - - - - -

(The beach)

Tabitha Smith laid on the beach, getting herself a tan.

"Ahhhhh…hey Frog-Boy." Tabby waved as Todd, Althea, and Mr. Redford walked by. "Who's the old guy?"

"The man we have to protect." Al replied.

"Yeah, yo. His vehicle design business has been targeted by Cobra." Todd added.

"They wanted me to design some new vehicles for Cobra." The rich playboy replied with a bored sigh. "I'm not really into creating new military vehicles. There's not much of a chance to put any real _art_ into it."

"You'd be surprised how much creative freedom GI Joe would give you." Tabby chuckled. "I remember one time Paul told me a story of a Joe battle on Flag Day. The Joe tanks rolled in, all painted red, white, and blue!" Tabby laughed. "And their turrets were modified so the barrels were star-shaped! And they still worked! Not to mention Cobra got beaten extra-hard that day." Redford raised an amused eyebrow.

"Wow."

"No kidding." Tabby added. "It really happened. It was during the 'Pre-Misfit' era." Tabby replied. 'Pre-Misfit' referred to the time in Joe history before Roadblock found Toad. Meanwhile, Zanya was at it again.

"Okay…all done." Zanya wiped some sweat off her brow. "Now with this bomb/RC truck, I can not only take out one of those wenches that try to steal my man, but I can complete my mission **and** eliminate two of the Misfits! And not just any Misfits, the first two members. Oh, I will get **_paid_** for this!" Zanya giggled gleefully as she used a remote to drive the truck towards the small group. She armed the small bomb, but unfortunately for Zanya, it fizzled when it neared Tabby. None of the talking people noticed it. "Oh you have **_got_** to be kidding me!" Zanya groaned.

"Hey, what's this?" Tabby picked up the truck.

"BOMB!!" Todd grabbed the truck and pitched it away. The dud bomb truck hit Zanya, whom Todd had no idea was there.

"C'mon Toddles, let's get some ice cream." Althea said. "Tabby, watch over him. Cobra may try to take him out."

"Yeah, yeah." Tabby waved nonchalantly as she laid back down. Todd and Althea went to get some ice cream. Mr. Redford just stood there blinking.

"So…" He said in an attempt to make small talk with the teenage mutant. "You a Misfit, too."

"Nah. Not a member, but some say I think like one." Tabby shrugged. Suddenly…

KABOOM!!!!

"**_YEOW!!!!!!_**" Zanya screamed.

"You hear something?" Tabby asked. Redford shrugged.

"Not really." He replied.

- - - - - - - - - -

(A park in town)

"Crikey, mate…" Recondo mumbled to himself in an Australian accent as he crawled around in a park. Kurt, Lila, and Jamie were following him.

"He thinks he's the Crocodile Hunter. Wonderful." Jamie grumbled.

"I could be with my Sammy right now. I could be out having a romantic moment in the Hawaiian sunset with him, but _nooooooooooo__…_" Lila grumbled. "I have to be out here making sure my adopted dad tries not to hurt himself thanks to the fact he's under a coffee-created delusion!"

"Huh?" Kurt blinked.

"I've noticed, Lila. You've never told me about your real family. Not anyone." Jamie blinked.

"Nobody would believe me." Lila shrugged. "Let's just say that if I ever see my real parents again, I owe 'em both a punch in the mouth."

"I'm surprised that Recondo didn't drag Cover Girl with him and make her think she was Terri Irwin." Jamie chuckled. The three saw Recondo crawl on his stomach towards a statue of a crocodile, mumbling in an Australian accent about how he was going to wrestle it to the ground like there was a camera nearby.

"Should ve try to stop him?" Kurt asked.

"No, then he'll think _we're_ crocodiles." Lila replied. Jamie had come prepared. He loaded an old-fashioned blowdart.

"Watch a master, gentlemen. And lady." Jamie grinned. With a PTUI, Jamie fired the blowdart and it hit Recondo in the neck. "**That** is how you deal with a coffee-crazed Joe, folks." Kurt and Lila clapped and Jamie took a bow as Recondo fell asleep.

Well, it looks like the insanity is just going to go on and on and on! What madness will happen next? Will the kids be able to corral the crazed adults? Will Zanya reach her goals? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	9. Yet More Random Madness!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To Raliena: Glad you liked the whole thing with Jamie. Here's more insanity for you! Enjoy!

To Red Witch: Read the new chapter of SOD and loved it! Oh yeah, and what did you mean with that Wild Thing thing in reference to X23's uniform in your review of the last chapter of "Mad Malibu Summer"? I hope to get more Zanya torture in for you! Enjoy the new chapter!

To Haretrigger: I have no clue where Jamie learned to use a blowdart. Well, Fox is only doing it to humor Scott. And yes, Steve Irwin has a death wish in my honest opinion. BTW, I can't find "Thesis of a Black-Winged Angel". Do you know where it is?

To Wizard1: Where's the new chapter of "Karaoke Dance Party"? I can't wait for it! Please put it up!

To Metal Dragon1: Hey MD1! I hope you got my e-mail with another idea I had for you. I recommend "Heavy Metal Pinball" as the name. I myself actually had an idea for a Kid Razor attack like that myself. I can imagine Razor not wanting to use that move much, considering that it sounds kind of unpredictable and if Razor were to use it, he'd make sure he was in a room or some closed space. BTW, I also got the last chapter of "Mad Malibu Summer" up! Please read it!

It's Profile Time Again! This time, we continue our Dreadnok theme by covering another Dreadnok with a big chip on his shoulder against society: Monkeywrench!

Monkeywrench

Real Name: Bill Winkie **(A/N: No wonder this guy became a Dreadnok! Could you imagine the jokes this guy suffered through as a kid?)**

Function: Dreadnok Explosives Ordinance

Birthplace: Rhyl, North Wales

Bio: Monkeywrench was born on a special day in British history. He was born on Guy Fawkes Day. In England, that day celebrated the foiling of the Gunpowder Plot to blow up Parliament, the main governing body of Britain. Guy Fawkes, the mastermind of the plot, was hanged. On this day, effigies of him are hanged among fireworks. This probably helps explain why Monkeywrench likes loud noises and explosions.

At a young age, Monkeywrench took up an interest in explosives and starting building them. He sold his services to a rather obscure group of terrorists. By the age of 16, Monkeywrench became a pariah in his own hometown. So he wandered to the East End of London, where he took part in a "new wave" movement, where he achieved levels of rudeness and bad attitude unheard of in the western hemisphere. He joined the Dreadnoks when he wandered to Australia, being brought to America later on after Zartan brought Buzzer, Ripper, and Torch to Cobra.

Note: Monkeywrench's favorite songs are "The 1812 Overture", "The Anvil Chorus", and "Wipeout".

Chapter 9: Yet More Malibu Madness!

- - - - - - - - - -

(In Town)

"Scott hit his head again!" Fox yelled. Lance and Spyder rounded a corner and helped Scott up. He was now clad in a turquoise t-shirt, white slacks, white business jacket with scrunched sleeves, and shoes with no socks.

"Oh man! Talk about your flashbacks!" Fox laughed. "Sonny Crockett. Who would've thought?"

"We got a runner!" Scott pointed at a jogger. "You guys call Tubbs! Tell him I think I've found the guy who murdered that rock star with the mascara!" Scott chased after the freaked-out jogger. "Miami PD! Hold it, pal!"

"C'mon guys, let's rescue the jogger." Lance said. The three chased after Scott. "Fox, you had better be filming this!"

"I got it! I got it! Relax!" Fox exclaimed.

- - - - - - - - - -

(The Beach)

"What's wrong, Peter?" Roberto DaCosta asked Peter Rasputin. The Russian mutant was pounding a palm tree like a punching bag.

"I hate the Starrs, I hate the Starrs, I hate the Starrs, I hate them I hate them I HATE THEM!!!!" Peter snapped.

"Let me guess, Kitty's in the mood for a little Starr-gazing?" Roberto joked.

"That **and** the fact that I just found out from S'ym that my little sister is now making cow eyes at that punk feral Wildstar! I HATE THAT FAMILY!!! I WANT THEM TO ROT!!!" Peter screamed.

"Those Starrs. They really know how to work the charms." Roberto chuckled. Kitty ran up to the two.

"Get Jesse. I found Warren and Beast." Kitty panted. Roberto ran to get Jesse.

"Let me guess." Peter said. "They are Scotsmen."

"Not…exactly." Kitty replied. Roberto and Jesse arrived. "You guys have **got** to see this." Kitty led the three boys to the street. They saw Warren and Beast dressed up as Laurel and Hardy, standing in front of a building.

"Warren, that's another fine mess you gotten us into!" Hank snapped.

"I'm sorry, Henry." Warren looked like he was about to cry. "I didn't mean for everything to get so screwed up and mmmmmeee uhhhhhhhh…" Warren whimpered like Stan Laurel did in the 30s and 40s films. A crowd had gathered and were enjoying the show, as indicated by their clapping and putting change into a hat sitting in front of them.

"Holy comedy duos, man!" Roberto exclaimed.

"Uhm, you okay Sunspot?" Jesse blinked.

"Uh yeah, why?" The Brazilian youth looked at Peter, Kitty, and Jesse, who all looked at him strangely. "WHAT?!" Meanwhile, on top of the building, Zanya stared down at Kitty Pryde.

"Okay you Chi-town witch, you think you're so cool, chasing after my beloved Starchild, huh? Well, I got something very special cooked up for you." Zanya put a metal gauntlet covered in spikes over her hand, then fired a line to a palm tree. Zanya tugged the line, then started to swing down towards Kitty.

"Hey, like, a quarter!" Kitty bent down to pick up the quarter. A screaming Zanya swung right above her, past a puzzled-looking Roberto, Jesse, and Peter.

"Is that normal?" Jesse pointed. Peter nodded.

"For us, yes it is."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAA OOF!!!!" Zanya screamed as she careened and slammed into the tree. She groaned as she slid down the tree out of sight. Kitty looked up, confused.

"Like, what the heck was that?" Kitty asked. Jesse, Roberto, and Peter blinked and shrugged their shoulders.

"Mommy, can we get some ice cream now?" Zanya moaned.

"C'mon Stan and Oliver, you boys are due for another performance!" Peter called.

"You hear that, Stanley! We got ourselves a real job!" Hank said excitedly. "Now **try** not to mess this one up, Stanley."

"Let's go!" Roberto and Jesse grabbed the mutant comedy duo.

Well, looks like somebody's going to get into BIG trouble for this? What insanity will happen next? Who will Scott think he is next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	10. A Very Special Guest Appearance!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To c-wolf: Hey! Haven't heard from you in a while! Nice to see a review from you again! Anyway, thanks for the suggestions. Hope you keep on reading and reviewing.

To Haretrigger: Thanks for the suggestions! And I read "Thesis of a Black-Winged Angel". Sounds promising, and it sounds like an interesting fic. Oh, and here's a tip for the waitress **(Holds out some money)**

To Red Witch: Glad you liked the Miami Vice reference. It was the only thing I could come up with at the time. So _that's_ why you mentioned a Wild Thing comic. Huh, A daughter of Wolverine with Elektra for a mother. Heh, sounds like I may need to pick it up. Have fun in Maine! Can't wait for more chapters of "Sleepover Of Doom"!!

To Sparky Genocide: I'm glad you liked the whole Beast and Angel playing Laurel and Hardy bit. Scott as Curly, huh? Hmm…

To Raliena: Thanks for the suggestion! Keep reading and reviewing!

To Aaron: Yeah, the Misfits have enough tapes for years thanks to Fox's camerawork and Scott's multiple famous personalities. Hmm, a Starr sister, eh? Well, e-mail me more info. You piqued my interest. Hope you keep reading and reviewing, man!

It's Profile Time again! **(Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs)** This time, we continue on our Dreadnok theme by taking a look at the leader of the Dreadnoks himself, Zartan!

Zartan

Real Name: Unknown

Function: Dreadnok Leader, Master of Disguise

Birthplace: Unknown (Possibly Europe or Australia)

Bio: Not much is known about the early life of Zartan. Many security agencies agree that he got his training in St. Cyr, but nothing is known about how he came to lead the Dreadnok biker gang.

Zartan is a confirmed X-Positive. He is a mutant who has the power to alter his skin color at will to blend in with his environment. His mutation may also be responsible for the black markings on his face.

Zartan is a master of disguise as well as make-up. He uses a combination of hypnosis and holography to change his appearance. He also is an expert ventriloquist, a linguist (Over 20 languages and dialects), an acrobat-contortionist, as well as a practitioner of several mystic martial arts.

Zartan's extremely smart and cunning, matched only by his sister Zarana. However, his plans often get botched up because of the fact that except for himself, his younger twin siblings Zarana and Zandar, and his daughter Zanya, none of the Dreadnoks are too bright. He's not too fond of Cobra's high command, only staying along for the money.

He had a brief liaison with the mutant shapeshifter Mystique, but that ended because they kept backstabbing each other.

Chapter 10: A Very Special Guest Appearance!

**The beach in Hawaii**

"I hate the beach." A gravelly New York-accented voice grumbled. The source was a man-monster: A big bald man with skin that appeared to be made of orange rocks. He was clad in a pair of blue trunks and sunglasses, and laying on the beach. He was once a test pilot named Ben Grimm, but a fateful encounter with cosmic rays turned him into the Ever-Lovin', Blue-Eyed Thing.

"You hate everything, Ben." A 19 or 20-year-old blond man replied, standing nearby. The blond man was named Johnny Storm. He was in space with Ben during a cosmic ray storm. Whereas Ben was transformed into an orange rock-skinned monster, Johnny gained the ability to sheath his body in fiery plasma, and he became the Human Torch.

"Whatever you say, Torchie. Where's Stretcho and Suzie?"

"Sue's with Franklin and Val." Johnny replied. Nearby, Sue Storm, known as the Invisible Woman, was playing with a baby blonde girl in the shade of an umbrella. Sue appeared to be a few years older than Johnny. "And Reed's observing the ocean currents." A man with short brown hair with graying temples was standing at the shore with some odd-looking machines. He was Reed Richards, aka Mr. Fantastic, the world's foremost scientific expert, a man who made regular contact with aliens and invented many fantastic devices. In the same cosmic ray storm that made Ben into the thing, Johnny and Sue Storm into the Human Torch and Invisible Woman, Reed was gifted with fantastic stretching powers as well as the ability to mold himself into various shapes. They were the Fantastic Four, the First Family of Superheroes.

"I'd bet Stretcho has some goofy theory about the tides influencing human behavior or some garbage like that." The Thing rolled his blue eyes.

"What was that, Ben?" Reed asked. He stretched out his ear to Ben. The New Yorker groaned.

"I was just jokin', Stretcho."

"Actually, that sounds like an interesting theory." Reed chuckled.

"D'oh!" Ben hit his forehead with his palm. He then noticed something run by. "What the--?" The Fantastic Four noticed Cover Girl run by, dressed like the Road Runner.

"Beep Beep! Putt Putt! Beep Beep!" Cover Girl whooped as she ran by.

"Cover Girl! Get back here!" Firestar, Red Dragon, and Pyro cried out as they chased after her.

"Hey look mates, the Fantastic Four!" Pyro realized. "I always wanted to set fire to the Baxter Building."

"John, you are an idiot." Angelica groaned.

"Well, whaddaya know. The Misfits." Ben chuckled. "Heard some stuff about you." 

"Wow! The Fantastic Four. Real nice to meet you guys." Jake grinned. "I'm Jake Wildfire, codename Red Dragon. These are my friends Angelica Jones and St. John Allerdyce, aka Firestar and Pyro."

"I never thought I'd meet the FF." Angelica said to Ben. The orange rock-skinned man-monster laughed.

"You Misfits are shorter in real life, you know that?" Ben chuckled.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you kids." Sue, Reed, and Franklin walked up to the three Misfits. The heroes all introduced themselves.

"…Angelica is my beloved." Pyro finished with a loony grin. "She's my Fire Angel!" He put an arm around the red-haired girl's shoulders.

"Is he alright?" Franklin asked Jake. Jake shrugged.

"John's a little messed up. His brain got broken as a kid, and no one knows how to fix it."

"I am **not** your GIRLFRIEND!!" Angelica yelled, smacking John.

"OW!" John screamed, holding his head.

"By the way, have you seen Cover Girl? She's got brown hair, and was dressed like the Road Runner from the old cartoons." Jake asked. The Fantastic Four blinked.

"She went that way." Reed pointed behind him.

"Thanks, nice meeting you." Jake said. "C'mon!" Jake and Firestar took to the air, John following on a winged skateboard made of fire **(A/N: Don't ask me. John is one weird dude.)**.

**In Town**

"Hold it right there! Miami PD!!!" Sonny Crockett, I mean, Scott Summers yelled as he chased a jogger.

"Help me! The kid's psycho!" The jogger screamed as he ran for his life.

"Oh this is great! This is so great!" Lance whooped as he and Fox chased after Scott. Spyder was on Lance's shoulders because she could not quite keep up with the older boys. Lance didn't mind. He thought of the gray-skinned pre-teen as a little sister, and he was used to carrying heavy loads on his back thanks to his GI Joe training.

"Oh boy." Fox blinked.

CLANG!!!! Scott collided face-first with a streetlight pole, knocking him down to the ground.

"Ohhhh…" He moaned. Fox and Lance ran to him. Lance put Spyder down and helped Scott up. They noticed that Scott was dressed like Luke Skywalker.

"Hey Luke, off to stop the Empire?" Spyder chuckled. Scott nodded. He put his hand in his robe and pulled out a plastic toy lightsaber.

"I have to stop Darth Vader before he destroys the universe with the Death Star!" Scott exclaimed. "Tell R2-D2 and C-3PO that I'm on my way to Dagobah and get rained by Yoda!" He ran off. Fox, Spyder and Lance watched him run.

"Gone insane, that man has." Fox laughed. Lance smacked the camera over his face.

"Shut up and keep filming!" Lance snapped. The three continued giving chase to the messed up Scott.

Well, looks like the insanity just keeps on coming! What madness will happen next? Who else will make appearances? Who will Scott think he is next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	11. One Crazy Tribute to Star Wars!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To Red Witch: COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To Wizard1: When are you going to update 'Karaoke Dance Party'? I can't wait for it, man! Where are you?!

To soulstress: How in the world does Scott change clothes so fast? Well, it's a fanfic, and in my fanfics, if a knocked-silly Scott Summers has to change clothes at the speed of light to reflect new personalities, then he can change clothes at the speed of light! Scott as Princess Leia, huh? That sounds **_funny!_** I'm glad you liked seeing Cover Girl as the Road Runner. Did you notice the guest appearance by the Fantastic Four? Well, I do a _lot_ of updating. You should put me on your Author Alert list! It'll tell you if and when I update my stories or put up new ones!

To Raliena: Well, you'd have to assume that they picked up some more batteries and memory cards along the way. BTW, what do you think of seeing Scott in a dress?

To c-wolf: Oh yeah, that was a typo. Glad you liked the insanity! Here's more for you! I hope you like it!

To Sparky Genocide: Yeah, I'm glad you liked the FF appearance. No, I have never seen Three's Company. But I love your suggestions. Especially Calypso Scott. You should see the beginning of my fic "Beast War". In it, Dr. Mindbender dances around to House of Pain's "Jump Around" and Destro gets a good laugh out of it.

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, chants, screams, and claps. Some hold up signs.) This time, continuing our Dreadnok theme, we take a look at Zartan's not-noticed younger brother, Zandar!

Zandar

Real Name: Unknown

Function: Intelligence and Espionage

Birthplace: Unknown, possibly Europe or Australia

Bio: Like his older brother Zartan and his twin sister Zarana, very little is known about Zandar's early life. As a child, Zandar was never noticed. People barely remember meeting him, teachers never called on him, and other kids hardly knew he was there. He learned over the years to use that skill to easily hide or sneak up on people. He gets a perverse pleasure from sneaking up on people and scaring them.

He had also become an expert in the usage of silent weapons, and in the arts of concealment and camouflage. Like his siblings, Zandar is a master of disguise. Zandar is normally very grim and quiet, but occasionally, be lets his comedic side shine.

After a mission in Malibu when they tangled with the West Coast Misfits, Zandar has expressed interest in playing in a fake comedic metal band much like Spinal Tap. Zarana and Buzzer all loved the idea, but Zartan hated it.

Chapter 11: One Crazy Tribute to Star Wars!

**In town, Hawaii**

"Luke…I am your father…" A nerd dressed up like Darth Vader said.

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_" Scott screamed.

"Lucky us." Lance snickered as he, Foxfire, and Spyder were watching and filming from the bushes. "Good thing the Sci-Fi convention's in town."

"Kyle would love this." Fox said. "You know that comic book Captain Nebula?" Spyder and Lance nodded. "Kyle's a _huge_ fan of Captain Nebula. Regularly buys the comic book and has all the graphic novels. His favorite graphic novel is the one called 'Crisis at Zero Hour'. Don't ask me, Thunderbolt's the big Captain Nebula fan."

"Wow. Those two really do a good swordfight." Spyder blinked as she watch Scott and the nerd parry, thrust, and perform all kinds of sword maneuvers. "Not bad, considering those lightsabers are plastic."

"Join me in the Dark Side!" The nerd said. The nerd did a real good impersonation of Darth Vader, even complete with the wheezing and heaving. "We can rule together as father and son."

"Never!" Scott yelled, and the swordfight continued.

"Look out!" Someone yelled. The nerds and the three mutants ducked as an out-of-control dump truck carrying bricks raced by. It swerved on the road, causing bricks to fall out. And one ended up clonking Scott upside the head with a BONK!!!!

"Guys, it's safe." Spyder said. Lance and Fox's camera peeked up from the bush. The nerds and Scott rose to their feet. Scott wore a different costume: A long-sleeved white dress. He also carried a black plastic laser rifle and his hair was parted down the middle and styled into two donuts on the side.

"Oh _this_ is rich!" Lance snickered. "This is really **rich!** Scott's cross-dressing again!" Lance laughed. Meanwhile, the truck had continued on its way.

**The hospital**

"Ohhhhhh…" Zanya moaned as she was wheeled outside in a body cast by an orderly.

"You stay here, Ms. Zanya. I'm going to get something." The orderly said, then he walked away. Zanya groaned under her body cast.

_Oh, this day keeps getting better and better._ Zanya grumbled. She heard a honking and the crazy truck barreled towards her. She let out a muffled scream as the truck came closer, and then collided into her.

**Meanwhile, Back in town**

"Princess Leia." Spyder snickered. "Princess freakin' Leia. Only Summers could pull this off."

"Not to mention he looks like one ugly woman." Fox added.

"Oh brother." Lance groaned as he saw Scott lean down next to a silver garbage can and talk to it. "I hated this part."

"I don't get it." Fox blinked. "I haven't seen Star Wars in a long time."

"Don't you remember? In the beginning, Leia recorded a message in R2-D2." Lance reminded. "Scott must think that garbage can is R2-D2!" Lance burst out laughing.

"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope." Scott said, then ran off.

"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope." Fox mocked with a snicker.

"Follow that Summers!" Lance ordered. He, Spyder, and Fox jumped out of the bush and ran after the confused X-Men leader. The nerds blinked in confusion at the scene.

"I thought he was Luke. How did he do that?" The Darth Vader nerd wondered.

"Maybe he has multiple personality disorder or something." A nerd dressed like Jar Jar Binks replied. The Darth Vader nerd looked at the Jar Jar Binks nerd.

"Your costume sucks, dude." The Darth Vader nerd said simply. The Jar Jar Binks nerd bristled.

"It does not!"

"Yes it does!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"NOT!"

"TOO!"

"NOT!!"

"TOO!!"

"_NOT!!_"

"_TOO!!_"

"**_NOT!!!_**"

"**_TOO!!!_**"

"**_MY COSTUME DOESN'T SUCK!!!_**"

"**_YES IT DOES!!!_**" The other nerds roared at the Jar Jar Binks nerd. They jumped him and started beating him down.

"Ow! OW! HELP!! HEY!! OW THAT HURTS!! HEY STOP!!! MY MOM MADE THAT OW!!! HELP ME MOMMY!!!"

Well, the madness keeps on coming! What insanity will happen next? What other movies will be given tribute? Will Scott be normal? Who else will show up? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	12. Still More Random Madness!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To Red Witch: Glad you're back! I'm glad you liked seeing Scott cross-dress. I'll have more soon.

To Raliena: Glad you liked Scott as Leia. Yeah, Scott never was quite normal. I haven't seen the Scooby Doo movie for a while. Hmmm, Scott hallucinate as himself as Lance sees him…Sounds intriguing.

To Wizard1: When does the new chapter of 'Karaoke Dance Party' come up? I can't wait for more, man! Where are you?!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, chants, screams, and claps. Some people hold up signs). We continue on our Dreadnok theme with the First Lady of the Dreadnoks, Zarana! (Zarana: Oh, I **like** that nickname!)

Zarana

Real Name: Unknown

Class: Mutant

Cobra Function: Assassin and Infiltrator

Bio: Like her two brothers, Zarana has the mutant ability to change her skin color to make herself invisible. Zarana is a master of disguise and makeup. However, unlike Zartan, who concentrates on making a disguise physically complete, Zarana likes to take a method actor's approach: She likes to _become_ the character she plays.

Intelligent and cunning, Zarana also bring a level of ambitiousness to the Dreadnoks, having a slight craving for power. Despite her greed, cruel nature and selfishness, Zarana actually has a bit of a good heart hidden. During a mission to spy on the Joes, she posed as an officer and fell in love with the Joe codenamed Mainframe. As a result, her loyalties are torn. As far as anyone knows, only Mainframe and Zanya, Zarana's niece, have ever seen a kinder side of Zarana's personality. She has a very antagonistic relationship with the Baroness.

**Author's Note: L1701E here! I actually finished ths chapter yesterday, but I wasn't able to post it yesterday due to site problems****. And this morning, I could not upload it because I was gone all day at the Bronx Zoo! And I just came back a couple hours ago! Hope you enjoy your belated dose of insanity!**

Chapter 12: Still More Random Madness!

**In town in Bayville**

"How could you lose him?!" Lance roared, grabbing Foxfire and shaking him hard.

"Hey, watch it!" Fox snapped, breaking himself free. "You'll make me drop the camera. Worse, you'll ruin my hair!"

"Who **cares** about your freakin' hair?!" Lance snapped.

"Hang on." Fox put the camera on the bench next to Spyder. "Don't want that camera to get damaged. Okay, we can continue. **_I_** care about my hair! I get up at five in the morning to make sure it's all in place! I don't appreciate it when people knock it out of place!"

"Anyway, we have a freaking **_gold mine_** in blackmail material against Scott and you let him walk away! That's more important than your stupid hair!"

"It wasn't my fault! I had no idea he'd wander into that crowd!" Fox snapped back. "He disappeared!" Spyder watched the argument while sitting on the bench, sipping some juice from a box. Her head moved back and forth as Lance and Fox talked.

"He was dressed up like _Princess Leia!_ He'd stick out like a sore thumb! You have to be a real **knucklehead** to lose him dressed like **that!**" Lance yelled.

"Some sore thumb!" Fox yelled back. As Fox and Lance argued, Spyder noticed Scott standing on a street corner, rocking back and forth on his heels. He was dressed like the stereotypical nerd: Jeans that were pulled way too high up, rainbow-colored suspenders, a button-up white t-shirt with a red bowtie, a pocket protector, and his face was showing buck teeth.

_Holy Revenge of the Nerds!_ Spyder thought. She then shook her head. _I have **got** to stop hanging around the Starchild. I'm starting to do those movie exclamations like him!_ "Um, guys…" She noticed Foxfire and Avalanche squabbling. "Guys…" They continued squabbling. "GUYS!" She got up, leapt into the air, and clonked their heads together.

"OW!"

"SPYDER!! What was THAT for?!" Lance yelled, holding his head. "I get enough headaches as it is without you knocking more into me!"

"Watch the hair!" Fox exclaimed.

"Hey Larry, Curly, look at that!" Spyder pointed at Scott. Lance and Fox grinned as they saw the nerdified Scott.

"Well, what do you know! That's _exactly_ how I've always seen him." Lance laughed. "Just a dumb nerd."

"Here." Spyder handed Lance the camera.

"Hey Fox, you don't mind if I film this personally, do you?" Lance laughed. Fox smirked.

"But of course, my friend." Fox grinned.

"Duhhhhhhhhh…" Scott mumbled.

**On the beach**

"**_WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**" Shipwreck, dressed like Julius Caesar, rode down the beach in a motorized scooter! "_Hear ye, people of __Rome__! Your king has returned home from fighting in __Gaul__!_ **(A/N: '****Gaul****' is an ancient name for ****France****)** The crazed Navy man was being pursued by a horde of women carrying pickaxes, pitchforks, and torches. They were led by a flying Storm, dressed in the regal robes of an English queen.

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!" She cried in an English accent as she flew down, the horde of angry women chasing after him.

**On the beach, up ahead**

"Ahhh…" Duncan Matthews smiled as he laid back on the lawn chair. He was enjoying the beach. "Now this is the life. Sun, sand, hot women, and best of all…no stinking mutants to wreak their maniacal agenda…" He started to fall asleep. "Yeah…destroy them all…string 'em up…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…" He snoozed on the lawn chair when Shipwreck drove by on the scooter. He quickly placed his regular uniform on top of Duncan's sleeping form: A white sailor's cap, light blue shirt, and black pants. He also put a picture of himself on Duncan's face, then drove off. A couple minutes later, the Storm-led horde of angry women raced by, and turned when they saw Duncan badly disguised as Shipwreck. They raced towards him.

"What?" Duncan awoke and took the picture off his face and saw the women bear down on him. "OH NO!!!! HELP ME!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! HELP!!!! SOMEBODY! HELP ME!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!! AAGH!!!! MOMMY!!!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!! OW!! OUCH!!! AUGH!!!

"Off with his head!" Ororo ordered in an English accent angrily, causing lightning to come down on Duncan.

"OH MY GOD!!!! OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!! HELP ME!!!! THAT HURTS!!!! SAVE ME!!!! HELP ME!!!!" Duncan continued screaming as the horde beat the football player senseless. "OH SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!!! WHY WON'T SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!! HELP ME!!!! OW THAT HURTS!!!! OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OWIE!!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!! THAT HURTS!!! STOP IT PLEASE!!! OWIE!!!"

Well, looks like things are getting crazier and crazier! What insanity will happen next? Who will Scott think he is next? Will Duncan get beaten more? Will the Misfits accomplish their mission? Where the heck is Zanya? How many subplots does this story need? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	13. You Guessed It, More Random Madness!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To Goofn1: Well, Foxfire is the X-Men's response to Pietro in a way. Technically, Lance should be used to it by now, considering that Pietro is very vain, but a vain person is extremely hard to get used to, no matter how long you live with them. I'll see if I can get Duncan beaten up more for you. Well, R2-D2 does kind of look like a trash can with a little imagination. All Scott needs is to just be hit in the right spot in the head to bring him back to normal. Well, a place _resembling_ normal in Scott's case. Is Jeffrey David a character you created for your fics? Here's more insanity for you! Enjoy!

To soulstress: Actually, Grease was made in the _1970s_. The Sixties were a cool decade too. I'm glad you liked the hair conversation. And I most definitely agree with you that vain people are real funny. And I could imagine Lance seeing Scott as a Steve Urkel-esque nerd-like character. Oh yeah, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of 'Tempest'!

To Red Witch: Hey RW, you seemed to have taken off 'Sleepover of Doom'! What's going on with that? And I'm glad you liked the Duncan torture. I'll see if I can include more for you. Oh, and thanks for clearing up which members of Zartan's family have the mutant gene. It **is** very hard keeping track of all these characters, I admit.

To RogueFanKC: What did Shipwreck do to tick off all those women? It should be obvious what he did to tick off all those women: he was just being Shipwreck! I have no idea what to do with Zanya next.

To Firefly25: I'm glad you liked the Miami Vice tribute. Thanks also for the suggestions! I can hardly wait for the new chapter of 'Reindeer Flotilla'!

To Wizard1: Where are you, man?!

It's Profile Time again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, screams, cheers, chants, and claps) This time, we continue our Dreadnok theme again with a profile of another member of the team, Road Pig!

Road Pig

Real Name: Donald DeLuca

Function: Dreadnok Warrior

Arrest Record: Speeding, Reckless endangerment, littering, assault, grand theft auto, usury, felony spitting, petty spitting, petty bribery, passing stopped school buses at high speed.

Birthplace: Goblu, Michigan

Bio: When Road Pig was born, the doctor declared him the ugliest baby he had ever seen in his life! Little is known about Road Pig's early life. He was kicked out of kindergarten for extorting milk money, and he also was one of the few kids ever to be dishonorably discharged from the Cub Scouts! He was kicked out of a biker gang for smelling worse than they ever allowed. He was originally brought into the Dreadnoks as a probationary member. After a lot of unsure deciding, they allowed him to join as a full member if he kept away from them because of his strangeness.

Road Pig's trademark weapon is a hammer created by a cinderblock attached to a lead pipe. He is often partnered with the Dreadnok Zanya, Zartan's teenage daughter.

Note: Road Pig has a split personality disorder that causes him to act like two people: Donald, a refined, intelligent warrior who battles with logic and careful analysis, and Road Pig, a violent wild man. He has been known to switch personalities in mid-sentence, but sometimes Road Pig takes over when Donald is angered or frustrated. They both share a crush on Zarana and often, Road Pig is found arguing with himself over which one Zarana desires! The personalities cause Road Pig to be a dangerous, unpredictable foe. One minute, he could be using psychological warfare, and the next, he could be attacking with a flurry of savage punches and kicks! He's readily identifiable by his cropped white hair with pink streaks on the sides.

Chapter 13: You Guessed It, More Random Madness!

**The hospital**

"Uh, hello?" Donald peeked in Zanya's room.

"Yeah, hi?" Road Pig added.

"Oog." Zanya replied. She was in a body cast, and she looked like she was pumped full of painkillers. "Wheeeee…"

"She appears to be on a trip from the painkillers." Donald noted, putting a hand to his chin.

"What's that mean?" Road Pig blinked.

"It means she's high as a kite." Donald replied.

"Oh." Road Pig realized. The large ugly Dreadnok pouted. "Lucky girl!"

"Uhm, hello?" The Dreadnok turned around and saw Paul Starr. "Hi. I heard Zanya was here. She always checks into places as 'Anya Starr'."

"Hello, Paul." Donald nodded.

"Hey Paul." Road Pig added.

"How is she?" Paul asked.

"She's hopped up on painkillers." Road Pig laughed. "I'm going to jump off a building! Lucky Zanya!"

"Road Pig, you are incorrigible." Donald grumbled. "She will be fine, as soon as she comes down off that painkiller rush."

"Look at all the pretty birdies…" Zanya giggled in a sing-song voice. "Hello…they're all waving at me. Wheeeeeeeee!"

"Ooh-key." Paul blinked. "Well, if Zanya ever comes back to Earth, tell her I visited, okay?" Paul walked away.

"Yeah sure. Bye, Paul." Road Pig replied.

"We shall inform her you visited." Donald added.

**In town**

"Well, this is fantastic." Lance laughed as he, Fox, and Spyder watched Scott assume another identity thanks to someone accidentally hitting his head with a brick. They were peeking into the window of a karaoke bar. "Man, Jean would be **ticked** if she saw this!"

"I think I'm a little young to see this." Spyder blinked. "Besides, I expected this kind of scene to have Pietro involved, not Scott." Foxfire tried not to burst out laughing at the scene.

"Fox, if you're not going to keep the camera steady, give it to Spyder." Lance said, pointing to Spyder. Fox gave her the camera.

"This is not right. This is _so_ not right." Spyder shook her head as she pointed the camera in. Fox and Lance laughed as Scott and five other guys singing on the stage of a karaoke bar.

"_YYYYYYYYY-M-C-A!!_" **(A/N: I'll let you use your imaginations on this one, folks.**** Take your pick which one he dresses up as.)**

**In town**

"Okay, now we have to find Low Light." Fred said. Lina and Dani nodded in agreement.

"So, where do we start?" Lina wondered.

"I last saw Low Light run into an arcade." Dani pointed to an arcade. Suddenly, there was a noise of a paintball rifle firing, screams, and psychotic laughter.

"**_MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**"

"Uh-oh." The three mutants said. They raced to the arcade and saw Low Light run around firing a paintball rifle.

"Don't worry Hawk! I got your back! BANG!!! Take that, Destro! YO JOE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!" Low Light cackled, firing his paintball rifle everywhere. "Eat hot paint of death, you Cobra jerks! YEAH!!!"

"I'll go knock him out." Fred sighed.

"Be careful, Fred." Lina warned.

"Ah, relax." Fred grinned. He walked up to the coffee-crazed Joe and knocked him out with one chop to the neck. "Okay, that's one down."

Okay, the madness just won't stop, won't it? What insanity will happen next? Who did Scott think he is and who'll he think he is next? Can the heroes save the Joes? What of Zanya and Road Pig? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!HHHHHHH


	14. Dog Day of Summer!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To Red Witch: I'm glad you liked the chapter. So, you think Scott's the Cowboy, huh? Well, I'll reveal soon which one of them Scott Summers was posing as.

To Sparky Genocide: Hey dude! Great to hear from you again! And you believe Scott is the Native American, huh? Well, as I said, I shall reveal which one Scott was. Well, I could imagine Paul and Road Pig conversing. Road Pig is Zanya's partner and bodyguard, and Zanya's crush on the Starchild causes him to kind of be merciful on him. If he tries anything on Paul, Zanya would have his head. Scotty as Bette Midler, huh? What amazes me is how many many people like seeing a knocked-silly Scott in dresses.

To Metal Dragon1: Alright! Yay, you're back! And you believed that Scott Summers is the cop, huh? I'm glad you liked the little conversation with Paul and Road Pig. I'm also glad you liked the scene with Zanya being incredibly hopped up on painkillers. Oh yeah, about "Sleepover of Doom"…you see, Red Witch got temporarily banned from bacuase the administration believed it was an interactive fic or something like that, and the fic got removed. And I hope you enjoy this new chapter! I can't wait for more chapters of "Take the Long Way Home"!

To soulstress: Actually, that scene with Low Light and the paintball gun was a tribute to Red Witch's "Sleepover of Doom" which was removed from because it violated some rule or something. Anyway, glad you liked the chapter, and I do hope to have more cross-dressing Scott. By the way, I can't wait for a new chapter of "Tempest".

To Aaron: Yep, the madness goes on and on. And you believe that Scott may be the biker or the Native American. Well, Low Light has his own way of looking at the world. Oh yeah, thanks for the character you e-mailed! I don't know if I'll use him, though. I have so many characters to keep track of as it is. Anyway, I hope you like the new chapter!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps) This time, we continue our Dreadnok theme by taking a look at a sadistic little punk: Thrasher!

Thrasher

Real Name: Unknown

Cobra Function: Thunder Machine Driver

Bio: Not much is known about the early life of Thrasher. What is known is that he grew up in a nice middle class family in a nice middle class neighborhood. As a child, he was spoiled by his parents (Everything he asked for caused some kind of disaster or destruction) and he was never disciplined for his actions because they believed discipline would stifle creative energy he would need later in life. Desiring more, a young Thrasher wandered into the swamps where he encountered the Dreadnoks and joined up with them, liking their philosophy of doing what they pleased.

In the Dreadnoks, Thrasher drives the Thunder Machine, a heavily-armed and heavily-armored vehicle that actually helped the Dreadnoks beat a group of Joes at one time! Thrasher is a sadist by nature. He enjoys bringing pain to others, so he would not be bothered by driving his Thunder Machine through a city park. One time, he drove it through Central Park. He said his only regret was that he wasn't able to hit anyone!

Chapter 14: Dog Day of Summer!

**In the beach**

"I must admit, the day has been rather peaceful." Mr. Redford chuckled as he walked on the beach alongside Althea and Todd.

"Yeah, but you know, I wouldn't be surprised if Cobra tries something. This day has been rather quiet." Althea said.

"Oh look at this, Al!" Todd pointed ahead and laughed. A certain highway patrolman with a blue cowl and cape and carrying a surfboard ran up to the twosome.

"Super Deputy." Althea laughed. Super Deputy, the self-proclaimed 'Protector of America's Highways' raced up to the couple with a grin.

"The Misfits! I remember you! Fellow fighters of evil!" Super Deputy shook Al and Todd's hands. "How have you been? I have not seen you since the Misfit Cannonball Run! Have you been continuing the good fight?"

"Yeah, a little." Todd shrugged. "Why the heck are you here? Hawaii isn't exactly known for its highways, you know."

"Oh, me and my brother are on vacation. Even us superheroes need a vacation every now and then. He's spent a lot of his time at the local Margueritaville. I am quite concerned about him." Super Deputy replied.

**The local Margueritaville**

"_Wasted away again in Margueritaville!_" The Sheriff sang in a drunken stupor. "I hate my brother and I hate that stupid Super Deputy garbage he does. But I **LOOOOOOVE** Hawaii! YEEEHAWWW WHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

**Back at the beach**

"What's with the surfboard?" Althea asked.

"Well, I am taking on a new challenge: I am fighting the evil 80-foot wave!" Super Deputy replied. "And I shall triumph! Hark! I hear it terrorizing innocent surfers right now! Never fear! Super Deputy is here!" The "superhero" ran off, carrying his blue surfboard.

"Uhm…" Mr. Redford blinked. "What was **that** all about?"

"Old friend, yo." Todd shrugged.

**In town**

"Oh, this is great!" Lance laughed. They were watching Scott in his latest incarnation: He was dressed up like a St. Bernard, and he was on all fours, barking and panting happily in a park. "Man, I always knew that Scott was a dog."

"Oh brother." Spyder rolled her eyes. "What'll we do with this?"

"I'm going to use this to blackmail Scott into not making me go into those stupid Danger Room sessions."

"Oh look!" Spyder grinned. Jean Grey noticed Scott in the park. She didn't notice Fox, Scott, or Spyder filming in the bush.

"Scott?" She asked. "Why are you dressed up and acting like a dog? Scott, the handlers are missing and…No! Scott! AAAAGH!!!!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!" Fox, Spyder and Lance laughed happily as they filmed Jean Grey getting attacked by the St. Bernard Scott. He tackled her to the ground and licked her face.

"Fox, you'd better get this!" Lance said.

"I got it! I got it!" Fox laughed. "Now I can blackmail Jean, too!"

"Oh yeah." Spyder laughed.

**Outside the hospital**

"Hey! Somebody stop that psycho!" An orderly yelled. Road Pig raced out of the hospital, carrying a dazed Zanya.

"Mommy, are going to the circus? I like the circus." Zanya mumbled. "I like the tigers. Pretty kitties…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…"

"Oh great, nice job Donald! Well, it was _your_ bright idea! **My** idea?! Yeah, yours! You always blame me for everything! No I don't! Yeah, you do!" Road Pig argued with himself as he ran to his motorcycle.

"Ooh, butterflies! Pretty butterflies in the flowery meadow…" Zanya mumbled in a sing-song voice. "Wheeeeeeeeeee!" She squeaked as the motorcycle drove off, Road Pig still yelling at himself.

Well, looks like the volcano of insanity is about to explode! What insanity will happen next? Will Zanya ever get her mind back on track? Will Road Pig's personalities get along? Will Scott go nuts when he finds out about the filming? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	15. Again with the Random Madness!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To the crow that caws at half pass star wars: I see you changed your name again. Zanya and Scott as Sonny and Cher, huh? Well, it just so happens when it comes down to some vacations, some people have fun and some don't. You can't avoid that. Can't wait to hear more from you!

To randominity: Hello! Nice to hear from you! So, you want to see Scott and Zanya do Sonny and Cher too huh? Well, I'll see what I can do. And I'll see if I can put in more Duncan torture for you.

To Sparky Genocide: Hey, nice to hear from you again! Hmm, Scott as an ornery dance instructor at a Cobra Hawaiian party, huh? That's…one…interesting suggestion. I'll see what I can do for that.

To soulstress: I'm glad you liked seeing old Scotty Summers as a dog. I have no idea where that came from. Maybe I _will_ keep Zanya dazed for a little while. Thanks for the idea! Oh yeah, I can't wait for the new chapter of 'Tempest'. Please put it up! And enjoy this new insanity!

To Red Witch: Here's more madness for you! Enjoy!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs) This time, our Dreadnok theme continues again with a Dreadnok that enjoys the thrill of the hunt, Gnawgahyde!

Gnawgahyde

Real Name: Unavailable

Function: Dreadnok Poacher

Class: Human

Nationality: Australian

Bio: Very little if anything is known about the Dreadnok known as Gnawgahyde except that he does hail from Australia. What is known is that he was one of the most infamous and skilled hunters and poachers ever to hit Africa, the Dark Continent. He was so effective as a hunter, he may have decimated the herds of all of Africa's endangered species. That is, if his fellow poachers hadn't sent him packing because of his tendencies to cheat at card games, smelling bad, and being a real pain in the neck.

After this, Gnawgahyde earned money as a fur thief when he met the Dreadnoks at an all-night donut shop. He was recruited on the spot. He was easily able to adapt his skills for mercenary work. Dreadnok membership has become a family business for Gnawgahyde as he recently brought in his teenaged American nephew Steve Garrett, known as Leathersuit because of his alligator-like mutation given by his X-Gene.

Note: Gnawgahyde has a rather disgusting way of preparing for a hunt: For a month before going out, he will not bathe and then smear rancid hog fat on himself to hide his scent. He only eats what he shoots and traps in the wild, because he believes the chemical additives of processed food will make his scent more obvious.

Chapter 15: Again with the Random Madness!

**In town**

Jason Fox, Lance Alvers, and Olivia Osnick, the mutants known as Foxfire, Avalanche, and Spyder, sat on a bench, laughing their heads off at the footage replaying on Fox's digital camcorder.

"Get off me! Scott! Get off! That's sick! AAAAGH!!!!" The voice of Jean Grey screamed from the camera. "Get off my leg!"

"Scott's going to be in the doghouse for a week! Literally!" Spyder wiped a tear from her eye.

"More like a month!" Fox added with his own laugh.

"Oh boy." Lance smiled. "We got blackmail material for a year."

**Somewhere else in town**

"Oh man, what a bad day." Duncan moaned as he walked down the street. "I got beat up by a bunch of women! What a bad day."

"Hey look out!" Someone yelled. A truck with a cylindrical rig careened down the road, out of control.

"Yipe!" Duncan jumped out of the way before the truck hit the wall in front of him. The football player blinked. He then grinned. "Yeah!" He did a dance. "Yeah! Dunc rules! Dunc rules! Dunc huh?" Duncan blinked when he heard the sound of metal bending. Before he knew it, the back of the truck burst open and sprayed its contents, raw sewage, all over him! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!! I HATE THOSE MUTANTS!!!! I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I **HATE _THEM!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEBODY TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS LOONEY WORLD!!!!! AAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!"_**

**The harbor**

"I am the Queen of England! I demand you release me at once!" Storm yelled at Lila, Roberto, and Paige. They were carrying a bound Storm over their heads.

"Don't worry, your highness. We're just protecting you from an attempt on your person." Lila chuckled.

"Huh?" Roberto and Paige blinked.

"Play along." Lila whispered. Sunspot and Husk nodded in understanding.

"Uhm, yeah Your Majesty." Roberto nodded quickly.

"Yeah, some uhm…um…" Paige struggled to come up with something to say.

"Angry insane squirrel people!" Lila added quickly.

"What?!" Roberto whispered.

"You can do better? Go ahead!" Lila whispered back in a snappy tone.

"Never mind." Roberto sighed.

"Thank you." Lila said. "Uhm, yes Your Majesty, you see, those squirrel people are after your country's supply of tea."

"There you guys are." Rogue said. "Over here!" Lila knocked out Storm with a chop to the neck. "That's all the adults." The kids managed to gather up all the adults and put them in a pile.

"Look what the cat dragged in." Lila laughed as she saw an angry Jean stomped up to the group, dragging the St. Bernard Scott behind her by the scruff of his costume. "I am appalled, Jean. You don't know how to treat animals. They have feelings, too." Jean turned and glared at Lila.

"Not. Another. Word. Cheney." Jean spat. Jean wiped her face.

"Woof! Woof! Woof!" Scott barked and panted happily. Lila laughed.

"Man, I've heard the old phrase that men are dogs, and I heard you tend to treat your men like 'em, Grey, but _that_ is just plain ridiculous." Lila laughed.

"Listen Lila, I look for Scott all day, to find him running around thinking he's a freakin' St. Bernard! Then, he attacks me, gives me a tongue bath, and then…" Jean glared at Lila, who just kept on laughing harder as Jean spoke. "Have you seen Lance, Fox, or Spyder anywhere? I haven't seen them all day."

"Ah, they're probably out partying." Lila shrugged, scratching Scott's head. "That's a good boy…" Lila cooed. Jean's face turned scarlet.

"WILL YOU STOP LAUGHING!?!?!? MY BOYFRIEND IS A DOG!!!"

"We already know Scott's a dog. You don't need to remind us." Lila said snidely.

"I don't need my powers to take you down, Cheney!" Jean snapped.

"Bring it on, Little Red Riding Hood!" Lila snapped back. The two girls started brawling when Sam and Jesse held them back.

"Look, we'll look for those three yahoos later. Right now, let's put the adults somewhere safe." Rogue suggested. The others all looked at each other.

"Hey! Where'd Scott go?" Jean asked, noticing Scott disappeared.

Hoo brother! Looks like the X-Men and Misfits are in big trouble! Where'd Scott go? What insanity will happen next? Where will they put the adults? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	16. Scott Screws Up!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To Sparky Genocide: You didn't really spook me with your suggestion, Sparky. Your suggestion made me thing of the movie "Bring It On". In particular, the scene with the jerky dance instructor in the WAAAAAAAY too tight black leather pants. I'm glad you liked that thing with Dog-Scott on Jean's leg. That was funny! In fact, I burst out laughing writing it myself! Scott as Michael Jackson? That's…a little too creepy. No offense to you though. I hope you like this new chapter of insanity!

To the crow that caws at half past Duncan torture: Changed your name again, huh? You and randominity have reviews that agree, huh? Well, maybe you look at the world in similar ways. And I'm glad you liked the Duncan torture. Duncan gets abducted by aliens, huh? That's an interesting suggestion. Thank you! I'll see what I can do! Enjoy this new chapter full of madness!

To c-wolf: Hey cool! You reviewed! Nice to hear from you again! I love your "Hates flu season" stories! They are so funny! Especially the Scott ones where he ends up getting slammed against the walls. I love your idea of Scott becoming Barney. That's so funny! I'll see what I can do for that. Enjoy the new chapter full of madness!

To Red Witch: COME BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!

To soulstress: I'm glad you liked that chapter, including the angry insane squirrel people, the red riding hood comment, and Duncan drinking raw sewage. How will Scott and Jean react to Fox, Spyder, and Avalanche's actions? I can imagine Jean would be furious, yet also interested as to where Scott's been and what he's been up to all day. Scott would be **really** furious, but yet I can imagine he also would be extremely scared of what he was doing, considering he most likely won't remember himself in those delusions.

To Aaron: I'm glad you liked the new chapter. And I also liked the suggestions you provided. What will Fox, Lance, and Spyder do with all this blackmail material? Well, let's just say Foxfire will end up not having to do as many Danger Room sessions as the other kids, and Lance and Spyder would have their own personal servant for a while. I think Jean is going to _kill_ Scott for being a little over-friendly with her leg back there.

To Wizard1: Where are you, man?!

To Metal Dragon1: Hey dude! I can hardly wait to see the new chapter of 'Take the Long Way Home'!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs) This time, we continue or Dreadnok theme by taking another look at a Dreadnok that was profiled before in one of the earliest editions of Profile Time: Leathersuit!

Leathersuit

Real Name: Steve Garrett

Class: Mutant

Nationality: presumed American

Birthplace: Unknown

Powers: Leathersuit has a mutation that is physical, covering his body in green scales, and giving him sharp teeth, yellow eyes, and an alligator tail. He has superhuman strength, a degree of resistance to injury, and enhanced senses of sight and smell.

Bio: Not much is known about the early life of Leathersuit. What is known that he may have been abandoned due to his radical physical mutation, and he has spent time in the Wildfire Wrestling School in Boston, where he met and developed a rivalry with future East Coast Misfit Jake "Red Dragon" Wildfire. Leathersuit was eventually kicked out for being overly violent.

It's not known how he joined the Dreadnoks, but he is known to be the nephew of the Dreadnok poacher Gnawgahyde.

Note: Leathersuit is a trained wrestler. He has a great knowledge of holds and moves in a variety of wrestling styles, including technical, and lucha libre. He's not too bright, but he's a dangerous fighter.

Chapter 16: Scott Screws Up!

**In town**

"Guys!" Fox waved from behind a bush to an ice cream shop behind him. Spyder and Lance leapt behind the bush. They were having ice cream.

"Oh, this is too good!" Lance laughed. They were watching Scott dance around on the sidewalk across the street dressed like a certain evil purple dinosaur.

"_I love you, You love me, we're a happy family…_" Scott sang in a goofy voice.

"Barney. How I loathe thee." Fox growled behind his camera.

"Hey look." Spyder pointed. "All those little kids are gathering. How cute. I had no idea Barney was still popular."

"Hey look at all those parents walking towards him." Lance blinked. "And they're all carrying pointy sticks. Some have bats…I see a couple torches…Hey, that's a flaming barbed-wire 2x4."

"Ooh, he ain't gonna be pretty no more." Fox winced.

"Ooh, I don't think the human leg is supposed to be bent like that." Spyder winced.

"Nor is the ribcage supposed to be there." Lance gulped.

**On the beach**

"Ah HA!!" Road Pig leapt out in front of Althea, Todd, and Mr. Redford, shotgun in hand.

"Road Pig!" Todd and Al assumed defensive positions.

"More like Donald." Todd quipped.

"Now we have you Redford, right Zanya?" He looked to his left. "Zanya?" She was gone. "Oh great! Nice work Road Pig!" He started arguing with himself. "Me?! Why did _I_ have to watch Zanya when she was knocked out?! Because _I_ could pull off killing Redford myself! Oh yeah?! Yeah! You suck! I do not suck!"

"What's with him?" Redford asked Todd and Althea.

"He has a split personality." Althea explained. She didn't see the giggling and still-dazed Zanya stumble and stagger away. She staggered into a karaoke bar and hit her head.

**Back in town**

Fox, Lance, and Spyder ran down the street.

"The dazed Scott ran into that karaoke bar!" Fox said.

"Hurry! We gotta record this!" Lance said. They quickly ran to the front window and they noticed a shocking sight.

"Is that…_Zanya__?_" Fox blinked. He smirked. "Oh, we have **got** to show Jean **this!**" Fox laughed. "She'll _mutilate_ Scott."

"Not to mention use her telekinesis to throw Summers all over Hawaii." Lance chuckled. Inside, one saw on the stage Scott and Zanya. Scott was dressed up like the late Sonny Bono and Zanya was dressed up like Cher. They looked like the couple did in the 70s television show. And they were singing "I Got You Babe."

"Oh, I can imagine Jean on the rampage." Spyder giggled. "Scotty will be trampled like a pea under an elephant."

"Scott and Zanya as Sonny and Cher. I never thought I'd see the day." Fox chuckled.

Well, looks like Scott is going to die. What more insanity will happen next? What else will Zanya do? Who else will Scott become? What are the other kids up to? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	17. Jailhouse Rock!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To Red Witch: You're back! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Alright! I read your new stuff and loved it! BTW, when will you bring back 'Sleepover of Doom'? I loved your version of the Scottish Beast! I hope he makes another appearance in your new stories! BTW, I'm glad you liked the insanity in the previous chapters, and I hope you enjoy the insanity coming up in this chapter!

To Sparky Genocide: Scott as a boxing kangaroo? Hmm…well, I'll see what I can do. For some reason, I can imagine Jean getting filmed by Girls Gone Wild. I can also imagine how angry Scott would be. I can also imagine the look on his face if it was a special hosted by Kid Razor. That'd be too funny! Scott would be **furious!** If Lila was in that situation, I can imagine her making Sam go get it for her.

To the crow that saw half pass a dead purple dinosaur: I see you changed your name again. Wow, you hate Barney too? Cool! Well, I thought it'd be funny to see Scott get beaten up. And since I was in a 'Kill Barney' mood, I decided to put Scott in a Barney costume. I also kind of would think that Zanya would make a rather short Mystique. But I can imagine a furious Zartan choking Road Pig like Homer Simpson strangling Bart. Hope you like this new chapter full of insanity.

To Firefly25: Whoa. Thanks a lot for the suggestions! I'll consider them. BTW, I can hardly wait to beta-read the next chapter of 'Reindeer Flotilla'. Please hurry and send it! I can't wait, man! I just can't wait!

To Raliena: What was Scott? I'll tell you when you come back. Hope you like the new stuff!

To soulstress: Hey! I'm glad you liked the chapter! Oh yeah, Jean is angry. Oh yeah, I read the new chapter of "Tempest". And I loved it! I thought it was so funny with Scott's blue teeth and Betsy planning to kill Rogue. And I agree with you about the fact that Barney is kinda creepy. I mean, the kids on the show turn into zombies or something. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs.) This time, we're going to look at a Cobra that helps get the Vipers into fighting shape, Big Boa!

Big Boa

Real Name: Unknown

Function: Cobra Viper Trainer

Class: Human

Powers: None, although he does possess an extraordinary level of strength, speed, endurance, and stamina.

Bio: Not much is known about the early life of Big Boa. Big Boa is a huge man with a voice like a bullhorn, fists the size of frozen turkeys, and the attitude of an angry boar. He is known to have come from a long line of prizefighters. Big Boa's father was a Vietnam vet who was an Army boxing champion, and Big Boa was introduced to the ring.

By age sixteen, Boa was staging illegal bare-knuckle "toughman" contests, ruining his budding boxing career. He was sent to military school in an attempt to straighten his life out, but Big Boa only became the school bully and got thrown out. He used his competitions to get into Cobra as a trainer for the troops.

Cobra Vipers are an unruly bunch of soldiers that are only motivated by greed. Big Boa is perfect to train them because of his ruthless and unfeeling style of training. Big Boa mostly works behind the scenes, but he has been known to engage Joes in battle on a couple occasions.

Chapter 17: Jailhouse Rock!

**In town**

"Did you put the adults somewhere safe?" Jean Grey asked Jesse Aaronson.

"Relax, girl." Jesse grinned. "They're fine."

**Local jail**

"Are you _sure_ they didn't commit any crimes?" One officer asked another, pointing to the snoozing adult X-Men and Joes in the cell.

"Some kid just wanted them to stay here out of the way for a while. They'll be fine." Officer #2 said. "What's that smell?"

"I'm telling you! It was the mutants! The freaking mutants! They did this to me!" Duncan Matthews screamed as two officers carted him off to another cell. "There! They're right there! And their traitor buddies! Wait! Listen to me!"

"This loon was caught covered in raw sewage, and he runs around scaring people." One of them grumbled. "We know the perfect cellmate for you." They carted Duncan off.

"That was weird." Officer #1 said.

"Yup." Officer #2 agreed, sipping his coffee.

"No!" Duncan screamed from inside his cell. "No! Bubba! Stay back! Stay back Bubba! Bubba I'm serious! No! No! NO!! HELP ME!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Poor sucker. Stuck with Bubba." The officers said.

**In town**

"Oh man, this footage is great!" Fox laughed as he, Lance, and Spyder watched the footage over on Foxfire's camcorder.

"Oh we gotta save the footage of Scott and Zanya for Jean." Spyder grinned.

"Nah, we can **really** blackmail Scott's candy arse with _that_ footage." Fox grinned. "Just think, no more painful Danger Room sessions. I hate those."

"And we can make Scott do anything we want, right sis?" Lance grinned.

"Heck yeah!" Spyder laughed. "I can imagine it now: 'Scott, get my juice!' 'Scott, clean my room!' 'Scott, set your room on fire!' 'Scott, go pants Logan.'"

"Life is good." Fox smiled.

"There you three stooges are." Rogue walked up to the trio.

"What's the matter, Rogue? Missed gawking longingly at my incredible body?" Fox wiggled his orange eyebrows. Rogue sneered at the Detroit native.

"You are a pig, Red Wing-boy." Rogue sneered. "Anyway, we've been looking all over for you guys!"

"We've been working. Check it out." Fox showed Rogue some footage. The southerner laughed.

"Oh mah God!" Rogue laughed. "Jean will **murder** Scott if she evah saw that!"

"Hey Rogue, want to help us?" Spyder asked.

"Why should I?" Rogue crossed her arms. Lance smirked. He knew **exactly** how to negotiate with an X-Girl.

"Old times' sake." Lance replied. "Plus, if you help us, I'll talk to Paul and see if he can take you out for something to eat." Rogue's green eyes twinkled with delight at the chance to go out with the sensational Starchild.

"Really?!" Rogue said excitedly. Lance nodded.

"Yep." Lance replied. Rogue thought it over for a couple seconds.

"Alright. For Starchild." Rogue shrugged.

_Man, those X-Broads will jump rings of fire for Starchild._ Spyder mentally chuckled.

"Why do we need her help?" Fox wondered.

"We need Rogue to help us cook up an excuse for where Scott's been and what we were up to." Lance sighed.

Well, looks like the insanity is going to continue! What madness will happen next? How will the adults react to waking up in jail? What are Zanya and Scott up to? What is Lance and Spyder's plan? Will Road Pig get murdered by Zartan? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	18. Scott is in Big Trouble!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To Sparky Genocide: Yeah, Rogue is helping out. I'm glad you agreed with me about Scott, Jean, and Lila. Yeah, I thought I'd stick Duncan with Bubba again for a good laugh. Well, I'm sure Jamie will do _some_ kind of mischief, but I am not sure what.

To the crow that caws half pass bubba brouhaha: I see you changed your name again. I did see that performance in Goldmember but I forgot the words. Zanya marrying Scotty for Scotty? That's scary. I mean, Night of the Living Dead scary! Texas Chainsaw Massacre scary even! But I do hope to see Jean beat Scott against the walls with her telekinetic powers.

To Red Witch: Yeah, Drunken adults in jail are funny! I'm glad you liked the Barney Torture and yes, I am a proud Barney-hater. Maybe I will give CallistoLexx's site a try. Oh yeah, I want you to make the Beast Scottish in your new story again! It's just inconvenient for me to go to one site to read one story when all the others along that continuity are in another. I find that very annoying. If I was in this situation, I'd consider quitting writing fanfiction to be honest.

To soulstress: Yeah, you'd be amazed what a girl would do to get themselves a date with a famous person. Scott pantsing Logan, huh? Well, I'll see what I can do. Oh yeah, I read the new chapter of 'Tempest' and I liked it! I can hardly wait for you to put out more chapters!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, chants, screams, and claps. Some hold up signs) This time, we continue our Cobra theme by taking a look at a Cobra who does a dirty job and loves to do his own dirty work: Cesspool!

Cesspool

Real Name: Vincent A. D'Alleva

Cobra Function: Chief Environmental Operative

Bio: Cesspool was one a ruthless and cheap CEO of a huge multinational corporation who was ignoring government regulations concerning issues of health, safety, and the environment. In an attempt to cut costs, Cesspool and his executives tricked employees into converting their life insurance to health coverage, and then assigning them to highly dangerous and toxic workplaces. Cesspool fled to his factories in an attempt to quickly dispose of toxic waste there when a swarm of government agents came to inspect the place and serve lawsuits placed by employees. Cesspool was scarred when he accidentally sprayed himself with chemicals in an attempt to shut off a faulty valve. The chemicals seeped into his brain and warped his mind.

He began renting his services out to companies where he bought their toxic waste and re-sold it secretly to others as a weapon. He was hired by Cobra on a temporary basis, but seeing the potential for toxic sludge-based weaponry, kept him on.

Cesspool's weapon of choice is a sludge gun that fires a liquid he calls 'plasmatox'. Plasmatox is concentrated toxic chemicals that can dissolve anything from a tank's armor to human skin! He leads his own group of waste-handling Cobra troopers known as Sludge Vipers. His weapons make him one of the most dangerous people at Cobra's disposal.

Chapter 18: Scott is in Big Trouble!

**In town**

"Rogue, did you find the boys and Spyder?" Jean Grey asked.

"Yeah." Rogue replied with a shrug. "They were out checking out the sights."

"Figures. That Foxfire will do practically _anything_ to get out of doing work."

"They have some nice footage on tape of their exploits." Rogue grinned.

"What?" Jean blinked.

"Check it out." Rogue held Fox's camera out to Jean. The red-haired telepath looked at the footage. It was off Scott and Zanya singing 'I Got You Babe' while dressed up as Sonny and Cher. Jean's eyes widened and she saw red.

"**_SCOTT!!!! YOU PHILANDERING JERK!!!_**" Jean screamed.

"That's not all." Rogue grinned. She adjusted the scene. "Check out his impression of Shipwreck." Jean saw Scott performing "YMCA" dressed as a sailor alongside some other Village People enthusiasts. Jean **really** saw red.

"Where…is…he?" Jean snarled.

"Well, he's around. He's trying to protect himself by acting like he has a weird form of amnesia that makes him assume various identities when he hits his head." Rogue added.

"That would explain a few things." Jean growled. "What does Fox, Lance, and Spyder have to do with it?"

"They were trying to catch him before he did something stupid. Unfortunately, despite their talents, they were unable to stop him." Rogue sighed. "It's a shame. You two looked so happy together."

"Where was he last?"

"Somewhere on the beach." Rogue replied. Jean stormed off, her every move screaming 'Scott Summers is a dead man'. Rogue walked back to behind a building with a smirk, which was concealing a snickering Fox, Lance and Spyder. "Ah did what you three asked." She grabbed Lance and shook him. "Now _you_ had better deliver on your end of the bargain! Ah! Want! Mah! Starchild! YOU GOT ME?!" Rogue threatened.

"I'll talk! I'll talk to him! Just stop shaking me before my head falls off my neck, Rogue!" Lance exclaimed. She dropped him, making him land on his butt. "Ow!"

"You had better." Rogue warned.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Jake asked.

"Nothing." Fox grinned. "Just Jean is going to kill Scott. She thinks he cheated on her." Jake's face assumed an I'm-not-getting-the-whole-story look.

"Yeah, right." Jake said in an amused manner. "Why do I get the feeling that you guys caused this in some way?"

"Don't ask me, Wildfire." Rogue said. "Ah'm only in it for the date with Paul."

"I had a feeling you would be in it for that reason, Rogue." Jake chuckled.

"Oh yeah, that reminds me!" Fox exclaimed. "We have to film Jean turning Scott into human jelly! C'mon!" Fox, Lance, Spyder, and Rogue ran off, leaving a confused Jake.

"Hey wait! Can someone tell me what the heck is going on oh forget it!" Jake groaned, flying off after the four mutants. **_Somebody's_**_ gotta make sure those four don't bite off more than any of them can chew._

**At the beach**

"Nice work, Road Pig! _My_ fault? Yeah, it's your fault! Why does it always have to be _my_ fault! You were the one that wasn't watching Zanya! How was **I** to know that she would get hopped up like that?!" Road Pig argued with himself loudly as Mr. Redford, Althea and Todd tied him up on a tree.

"Man, this guy has problems." The vehicle design company owner groaned. "It's like two people live in one body."

"You're telling me." Todd agreed. "That's Road Pig for you, yo."

"Yeah, now all we have to do is find that little wench Zanya and that is that." Althea smirked.

**In a dumpster**

"Ohhhh…" Scott moaned as he walked out of the dumpster. Now he was dressed as a clown. "Uh hyuk, man that was some weird pie huh?" He noticed Jean standing right in front of him. She had a scowl on her face, and she was holding an aluminum baseball bat with barbed wire wrapped around it. "Hello little girl. Would you like a balloon animal?"

"Oh this'll be good." Fox snickered as he, Spyder, Rogue, and lance watched from behind a hedge. "Hey Lance, care to film this?"

"My pleasure." Lance took the camera. "This _will_ be good."

Well, looks like things are beginning to come to a simmer! What insanity will happen next? Will Scott survive Hurricane Jean? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	19. The End is Near!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To Red Witch: Yeah, I guess so. Well, sometimes I tend to get discouraged easily. I do hope you make Beast Scottish again. You did a great version of him. I read your new stuff and I liked it! Can't wait for more insanity and I hope you enjoy this new insanity from me!

To RogueFanKC: Alright! Great to hear from you again! It has been too long, man! Am I slightly concerned that Scott may buy the farm? Well, not really. You see, Scott is a professional survivor. He's lived through and recovered from worse. He's one tough little optic blaster. I wouldn't worry. By the time this story ends, he'll be fine. This _is_ fanfiction, after all.

To c-wolf: Alright! Nice to hear from you again! Scott as the Mask, huh? Well, I'll see what I can do. Anyway, hope to hear from you again.

To Sparky Genocide: Well, Jean can be one mean woman. No offense, but I think Pyro's enough on Angelica's plate. Can't wait to hear from you again, and hope you enjoy this new insanity!

To soulstress: I'm glad you liked the chapter! And I also hope you like this new chapter chock full of insanity! Oh yeah, I can hardly wait for you to put up the new chapter of "Tempest".

To the crow that caws at quarter to Scott torture: Another review, another name change. I'm no good at writing musicals. I did like your suggestion. It was pretty funny. Let me guess, the shark named Bruce is a tribute to 'Finding Nemo', right? I saw it on a bus on the way to the Bronx Zoo. Anyway, I went to the circus today. It was awesome!

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs). This time, we continue our Dreadnok/Cobra theme by taking a look at another Cobra flunky, Croc Master!

Croc Master

Real Name: Unavailable

Cobra Function: Crocodile Trainer

Bio: Not much is known about the early life of the man known as Croc Master. What is known is that he once wrestled alligators and sold burglar alarms door-to-door. He founded a little company known as Guard Gators Incorporated, which used trained alligators in home security. The company did not do too well because of people's concerns about the reliability and safety with the crocodiles.

His ad in Florida newspapers attracted Cobra, and he was hired on a trial basis to handle Cobra Island security. He brought a very vicious, fast, hostile, powerful, and psychotic bunch of crocodiles to the waterways of Cobra Island. He often is found dozing in those same waterways with only his nose breaking the surface.

He is as powerful and amoral as his crocodiles, whom he often names after women and refers to them as 'his girls'. He thinks of his crocodiles as his children.

Note: It is believed that Croc Master may be a mutant with some psionic power over reptilian life, but this is yet to be confirmed.

Chapter 19: The End is Near!

**In town**

"Oh this is great!" Fox, Rogue, Lance, and Spyder howled in laughter as they watched and filmed Jean chasing after Scott, who miraculously returned to normal.

"HELP ME!!! SAVE ME!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! OW!!!! JEAN, THAT HURTS!!!! OW!!! STOP THAT!!! HELP ME!!!! WHAT DID I DO?!?! WHAT DID I DO?!?! SOMEONE TELL MEEEE!!!!! OWWWW!!!!" Scott screamed as he covered himself as he ran. "I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED!! SOMEONE TELL ME!!!"

"COME BACK HERE YOU JERK!!! DON'T GIVE ME THAT 'I DON'T REMEMBER' STUFF, YOU LYING JERK!!! GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN, SCOTT SUMMERS!!! YOU JERK!!! YOU LIAR!!! YOU HEARD ME, GET BACK HERE!!! SCOTT, COME BACK HERE AND TAKE YOUR BEATING LIKE A MAN!!!" Jean screamed, swinging her bat to and fro like she had went completely utterly bonkers.

"Oh man, this is too funny!" Lance laughed.

"Ah don't know. This _is_ funny, but aren't you guys worried she'll try and kill Scott for real?" Rogue blinked.

"Ah, relax Roguester. Jean's one brutal taskmaster-like screeching wench, but she's no murderer." Fox shrugged.

"There you loons are." A voice said. The four mutants turned around and saw Jake. He had a stern look. "Fox, Lance, Spyder, where the heck have you been? And what's going on?" He crossed his arms and tapped his foot. "Well?"

"Aw relax, Jake. We're just having a little fun." Rogue laughed.

"ZANYA, WHERE ARE YOU?!" Road Pig screamed as he ran down the street. Actually, he hopped, considering he was carrying an uprooted palm tree on his back. "PLEASE, ZANYA!!! ZARTAN WILL KILL ME IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU!! ZANYA, WHERE ARE YOU?!?! C'MON ZANYA, DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!! WE STILL HAVE TO ELIMINATE THAT GUY!!! ZANYA!!! OH GOD ZANYA, WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?!?!"

"What's going on here?!" Jake moaned.

"Don't worry about it, Dragon." Spyder shrugged. "You don't need to know. Just sit your red butt down and enjoy the show." Jake blinked as he saw a screaming Scott run down the street, a yelling Jean after him, swinging her bat.

"And _why_ is Jean Grey trying to go Cactus Jack on Scott Summers?" Jake blinked. "I never know what's going on around here."

"You would if you weren't so busy chasing around a bunch of loony adult mutants and soldiers." Fox quipped.

"And I see you were doing your part to bring them back." Jake quipped back.

"Uhm…I was too entranced by all the women?" Fox offered. "You know what, I just realized something. I haven't flirted with a single woman all day."

"Alright, we just did Hawaii a great service!" Rogue whooped. "We managed to prevent Foxfire from trying to flirt all day. We are the best!" Rogue hi-fived Jake, Lance, and Spyder, who then hi-fived each other. Fox watched with a deadpan look.

"Oh ha ha, very funny." Fox said sarcastically. "The women of Hawaii are denied the sight of my perfectly-formed body and all you think it is is a joke. This is a tragic day, and you heartless jerks laugh about it."

"Oh relax, Foxfire. We didn't mean it." Jake laughed. "Although with your record, Rogue's comment is understandable."

"Oh stop, Jake." Fox groaned. Rogue could not help but chuckle at the pair. No wonder many people were amazed by the fact that Red Dragon and Foxfire were friends. Their personalities were such opposites: Foxfire was cocky, arrogant, and a self-proclaimed womanizer, while Jake was calm, even-tempered, and rational. "I _am_ one good-looking guy."

"Oy." Jake groaned. "C'mon. We gotta meet the others and hopefully find a way to get the adults back to normal." He saw Jean chase Scott, and the red-haired telepath was carrying a chainsaw. "And hopefully stop Jean from spreading Scott's body parts all over this place."

Okay, the madness is still coming? What insanity will happen next? Will Road Pig find Zanya? Will the adults be alright? Will Scott finally crack? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	20. The End is Here!

**Hawaiian Havoc!**

To Goofn1: Yeah, ol' Scotty's in a whole lot of trouble. And I can see all those possibilities of uses for Lance when it comes to all that footage that was shot of Scott basically humiliating himself. Oh yeah, and check out my story "Circus Craziness"! It stars the West Coast Misfits! I can also see members of the Bayville PD's Animal Cruelty unit knocking on the door of the Institute. Jamie answers and they talk for a little bit when the officers see Jean leap around inside, trying to get Scott in a dog costume off her leg by beating him with a stick. I'm also glad you liked the Duncan torture. And thanks for clearing up about who 'your Jeff' was.

To Sparky Genocide: I would not be surprised if Jean does forget about Scott if she sees the Starchild walking around somewhere. And you are correct sir, Rogue was promised a dinner with Paul. Well, this is the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed this story, man!

To soulstress: I'm glad you liked Rogue's joke about Foxfire. Yeah, I guess it is considered normal for Jean Grey to smack Scott Summers around. Heh heh. I don't think Scott will be very happy with the 'art' shot by Lance, Fox, and Spyder. I can hardly wait to read the next chapter of 'Tempest'! I love that story! I'd love to see you write Scott in a mall in a cheerleader outfit.

To Red Witch: Here's more insanity for you! I hope you like it! I read your new stuff and I liked it, but I feel a little lost.

It's Profile Time Again! (Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, chants, screams, and claps. Some hold up signs). Okay, now this time, we take a look at two Cobras who are like birds of a feather…well, they are twin brothers, Tomax and Xamot!

Tomax and Xamot

Real Names: Unknown

Cobra Function: Crimson Guard Commanders

Birthplace: Somewhere in the Mediterranean

Bio: Not much is known about the early life of the twins code-named Tomax and Xamot. They, like their names, are mirror images of each other, except that Xamot has a scar on his face. They have a bond that is almost supernatural in nature: They finish each other's sentences, they sense when each other is in danger, and one even feels the other's pain!

Raised in poverty despite being very smart, Tomax and Xamot joined the Foreign Legion Paras in Algeria. Discontent with taking orders, they became mercenaries, honing their skills in the bush conflicts in Africa and South America. The brothers desired to use their intelligence more, and they studied in Zurich to become bankers, and also experts in international finance and corporate law. They however, preferred to be in situations they could control, and that attracted Cobra Commander, who asked them to join Cobra, promising them command of an army like them. The twins accepted.

The twins lead the Crimson Guard, an elite group of Cobra soldiers. Crimson Guardsmen, or Siegies, are the best trained out of any group of Cobra Vipers, and they are also trained in skills in accounting, business or law. Crimson Guardsmen are often placed deep undercover in influential companies to obtain assets for Cobra or help obtain legal aid for Cobra.

At one point, Tomax and Xamot were aiding Dr. Mindbender in collecting local mutants from the streets of Los Angeles. During that mission, the twins somehow became rivals with future East Coast Misfits Paul and Craig Starr, codename Starchild and Darkstar. Starchild and Darkstar helped save the GI Joes Recondo, Lady Jaye, and Cover Girl from the twins.

Chapter 20: The End is Here!

**On the ship**

"Man, that was some day." Jake chuckled as he boarded the ship.

"Yeah, no kidding." Lance agreed.

"Ohhhhhhhh…" Scott moaned as he passed by on a stretcher. "I am Batman…" Lance chuckled.

"Oh, what a lovely day."

"Man, that mission was simple." Althea grinned.

"Yeah, yo." Todd agreed.

**In town**

"Uhm, Zartan, I have bad news." Road Pig said into a pay phone.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Zanya squealed as she staggered around.

"Zanya, get back here!" Road Pig dropped the phone as he chased after her. The phone turned blue as the voice of Zartan cursing could be heard from it.

"**_ROAD PIG, GET BACK HERE!!!!!!_**" Zartan roared from the phone

**On the ship**

"_All ashore that's coming ashore!_" The captain called from the speakers.

"Man, we had a pretty good time." Paul said to Xi and Jesse.

"Amen to that." They agreed. Paul noticed Xi was carrying a bag full of cookies.

"Uh oh." Paul blinked. Xi started shaking.

"Who gave Xi cookies?!" Jesse yelled.

"Run!" Paul exclaimed. Jesse and Paul ran for their lives as Xi started jumping around.

"COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE!!! ME COOKIE MONSTER!!!!" Xi yelled as he ran and jumped around.

"Look out!"

"Run!" Pietro, Fred, and Paige screamed as they ran out of the cafeteria. Roberto and Sam peeked inside and saw Rogue and Jean throwing tables and chairs at each other, screeching like banshees.

"They'll get tired. Just let them go at it and wear each other out, man." Roberto said.

"In my case, being alone in a room with _Lila_ is safer than going in there with those two right now in that mood." Sam agreed. The two New Mutants backed off and ran away.

"Ohhhh…" Scott moaned from his stretcher.

"AAAGH!!!" Pyro ran by. "Whoops!" He tripped and knocked into Scott's stretcher. Scott screamed as his stretcher, with him in it, rolled down to the railing and flipped over, sending the leader of the X-Men overboard. "Uh oh." John blinked.

"JOHN, GET BACK HERE!!!" Angelica tried to catch up to John, wielding a golf club.

"Uh oh. Yipe!" John made a break for it, Angelica hot on his heels.

"I'm going to make a line drive into Florida with your HEAD!!!" Angelica screamed as she raced after John.

"You know, I'm getting this odd feeling we forgot something." Lina said to Fred. The large mutant only shrugged. Suddenly, they heard screams. The two mutants ran to the rear of the ship and saw a sight that made Fred laugh a little: The Joes and the adult X-Men were chasing after the boat on a yacht, screaming and waving their arms. Warren and Storm were flying alongside the boat.

"We forgot the adults!" Fred laughed. "Oh my God! I **knew** we forgot something!"

"Oh my." Lina covered her mouth.

**The local jail**

"I wonder, isn't anyone going to go pick up that Matthews kid?" One cop asked another. The other cop only shrugged.

"WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! HELP ME!!!! BUBBA, STAY BACK!!! I'M WARNING YOU!!!! HELP ME!!! BUBBA!!!!! STOP!!!! AAAAGH!!!!!" Duncan's screams reverberated throughout the station.

Well, looks like the day in Hawaii comes to an end! What insanity will happen down the line? What'll happen to our heroes next? Find out soon! This is L1701E, saying thanks for reading, and signing off!


End file.
